I am empty and crush; not feeling like a man.
I am empty. In the state of California, unemployment is bad. I haven't work in 3 years. I been in school but was trying to find work part time. I went to college and finish but I couldn't find any work. I am college educated who would happy to be a janitor right now.I can't even get a job flipping a dam hamburger. My pride and my self worth is crush. I don't I feel if I can do a job anymore. I feel like I didn't go to college and spent $65,000 in school loan. My wife is tire of hear me complaining about myself. She sees that I am unhappy and frustrated about myself and feel bad for me. She says I been giving a bad rep but tire of being an emotional punching bad. But she is wore out from all the pep talk of encouraging. All I do is yell and bring up my old success compare to now. I don't mean to take it out on here, She don't deserve it. I just want to work so she don't have to work 2 jobs to keep up afloat. We are having dumb arguement because me. I am so angry and what the world to fill the way I do. I am unfill and empty with no purpose. I know people are having it rough. But I don't know any of these people. All my peers are doing well with nice income and homes to match there happy disposition. couldn't even find a fast food job. I am gripped by pain of being out of work. I wake angry at the world. I am moody and mean. I don't want to but just don't know where to turn. I don't drink or do drug but need an escape. I have a wife that have caring us financially for years. It hurt me as a man powerless help her. I was force to go back to school about 2 years ago. I will be finish this semester but we have bills right know. She is working like a dog but all I can tell her that it will be okay. But I don't even really believe. PLEASE HELP ME; i AM REALLY HURT. ( TEARS )
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