I am depressed. Any of you going thru that as well?

I am depressed.  Anyone of you going through depression as well as the loss of a loved one?  I knew the mourning is normal but never that I would get depressed on top of it.  For me it is a mix of things, I am looking for a job but not successful yet and it is all hitting me pretty hard.  Things are working out better for me in some ways but not in other ways.  I am extremely lonely and miss Smokey's great company.  We would watch TV and laugh at the silly things we see on the boob tube.  We would look at one another and laugh.  It was how we watched TV, which I miss now very much.  I over indulged on the drinking bit, whereas Smokey would catch me on it before I had a chance to, but now I suffered the consequences.  I feel so guilty.  I miss Smokey so very much.  I am a bit mixed on one hand I want to find someone else but on the other hand am I ready yet?  I am so confused about all these things.  I know I do not like to live alone.  I prefer companionship.  Before I met Smokey, I was rooming with a friend of mine Carol W.  I always called her CW and she called me DB.  The names stuck for us.  Then I met Smokey and my life took another turn.  Now Smokey has passed away and I don't know where to turn.  My life seems in turmoil at the moment and I am depressed about it all.  I can go out with my daughter, my friends or my brother but I still come home to an empty apartment with no Smokey to greet me.  It's the empty apartment that is killing me.  I need a place to hang my hat that is for sure.  It's the empty bed.  Smokey would get ready first and then I would and then jump into our bed.  Now I go to bed alone and wake up alone and that is cause for depression.  I hate it all.  I sure do miss Smokey and what we did together.  No wonder I am depressed.  Will I ever be happy again?  Will I meet someone else?  It is just not anyone I am going to meet but I want to meet my soul mate man.  After having Smokey, I am not going to settle with just anyone.  If you are going to reach, you might as well reach for the stars as far as I am concerned.  I settled for things all my life which never made me happy.  It is time not to settle but reach for the stars, sun and moon.  I want the whoe enchilada.  Why not?  Anyone else going through what I am?  I am just curious.