I am confused and stressed
by what is going on with my brother and sister. My sister doesn't like my brother that much unless he is doing something for her that someone else won't do. This is her taking advantage of him in a way. It is selfish but it is hard to get her not to do it she does not understand the repercussions.
I don't know what he is getting out of the situation. Maybe he feels responsible in some way as older brother or it is his way of showing he cares and loves her but he also drives her crazy with his bossiness and bullying. She told us all she did not want him coming around all the time and bothering her but lately she has been letting him come over all the time. Now he drops by whenever he wants like before without notice or reason or to do anything she needs.
He will say he is checking in on her but then he will take something or want something also.
the problem I see is twofold. First she is lonely and so having him visit is maybe to her better than being alone. But this can backfire when he starts invading her space, taking things, using her and bossing her around all over again until she is miserable. Also, her caretakers and I are trying to teach her to take care of herself, be more independent and confident on her own. This seems to be happening or it was. now, with him coming around all the time again and doing things for her that she could be doing for herself,it undermines all the work we have been doing. I actually saw him get her a glass of ice water when I was there. not like hey I'm getting something to drink do you want some water kind of way but more of a Are you thirsty, her you go baby, drink it all up that's a good little girl. Maybe it is just being nice but to me it was treating her like a child that needs to be taken care of and have everything done for her. I usually just tell her she should drink more water and then she gets up and gets it for herself.
Secondly, she is taking advantage of him, stringing him along. He thinks that maybe she is accepting him again not stil langry or bothered by him and this is not true, she complains to the rest of us about him being bossy and telling her what to do and coming over when she done'st need him to come over. She only wants him to come when she needs him. this is cruel of her tho she doen'st realize it. because he wants to be accepted and in control and that is not what she is doing.
Me I don't live with either of them and can't understand either of their thought processes and am only guessing on most of this. It is confusing, I don't know what to do or if I should even try to do anything. I don't see him helping her tho he does once in a while take her somewhere she watns to go when I wouldnt want to. But then this is just me letting her use him because I am lazy. And I don't understand his need to be in control of her life, babying her and treating her like an imbecile. It isn't helping at all.
It is all a big confusing frustratoin for me and so causes anxiety.
I don't know what he is getting out of the situation. Maybe he feels responsible in some way as older brother or it is his way of showing he cares and loves her but he also drives her crazy with his bossiness and bullying. She told us all she did not want him coming around all the time and bothering her but lately she has been letting him come over all the time. Now he drops by whenever he wants like before without notice or reason or to do anything she needs.
He will say he is checking in on her but then he will take something or want something also.
the problem I see is twofold. First she is lonely and so having him visit is maybe to her better than being alone. But this can backfire when he starts invading her space, taking things, using her and bossing her around all over again until she is miserable. Also, her caretakers and I are trying to teach her to take care of herself, be more independent and confident on her own. This seems to be happening or it was. now, with him coming around all the time again and doing things for her that she could be doing for herself,it undermines all the work we have been doing. I actually saw him get her a glass of ice water when I was there. not like hey I'm getting something to drink do you want some water kind of way but more of a Are you thirsty, her you go baby, drink it all up that's a good little girl. Maybe it is just being nice but to me it was treating her like a child that needs to be taken care of and have everything done for her. I usually just tell her she should drink more water and then she gets up and gets it for herself.
Secondly, she is taking advantage of him, stringing him along. He thinks that maybe she is accepting him again not stil langry or bothered by him and this is not true, she complains to the rest of us about him being bossy and telling her what to do and coming over when she done'st need him to come over. She only wants him to come when she needs him. this is cruel of her tho she doen'st realize it. because he wants to be accepted and in control and that is not what she is doing.
Me I don't live with either of them and can't understand either of their thought processes and am only guessing on most of this. It is confusing, I don't know what to do or if I should even try to do anything. I don't see him helping her tho he does once in a while take her somewhere she watns to go when I wouldnt want to. But then this is just me letting her use him because I am lazy. And I don't understand his need to be in control of her life, babying her and treating her like an imbecile. It isn't helping at all.
It is all a big confusing frustratoin for me and so causes anxiety.
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