I am confused about this guy I am dating.
I am confused about this guy named Dave that I am dating. I know he had it rough when his common-in-law woman named Catherine left him after 12 years. They were together for twelve years. Smokey died after ten years of living together. It hurt me a lot as well. It doesn't mean that I don't want to get married or live common-in-law again. I just need time to heal and settle his estate, which should be doing soon. What I am picking up by what he is saying is that he never wants to get married and is not sure about living common-in-law! What does that mean for us? Does it mean he just wants to date me forever without any kind of commitment? I am not sure if I can handle that at all. We have only been dating for two months. It is no big deal at the moment. It sure hurt my feelings yesterday when he made that comment about common-in-law. I wonder if he realizes what comes out of his mouth. If he is commitment phobic than what I am doing with him? We seem to have a good relationship thus far. I am going to play it by ear. If we are still together after one year, than I have a lot of thinking to do. I am going to re-evaluate the relationship. After one year, we should be able to decide if we want to stay together or not, to keep dating or not or to make a commitment or not. At that point if Dave and I are not on the same wave length then it will have to be a mutual decision to split up. It's what I am thinking at the moment but ask me again in one year.
I am the kind of person that needs to chew the facts and think about things a head of time before anything happens. I do it ahead of time which can drive people crazy. Like I am the kind of person to plan Christmas in July and not everyone wants to think that far ahead. I am trying to plan Christmas now and people think it is still too early. Like I said I drive peple crazy trying to plan things way ahead of time. It is the way that I operate.
I just like to think things thru slowly before I make up my mind one way or another. On the bright side, I have an interview at a personnel agency this morning. We shall see how that goes. They have never helped me in the passed.
Good morning to everyone as it is 6:53 a.m. this fine Thursday morning. I hope each and everyone has a good day to day and may God go with you all from Diane Baillie
I am the kind of person that needs to chew the facts and think about things a head of time before anything happens. I do it ahead of time which can drive people crazy. Like I am the kind of person to plan Christmas in July and not everyone wants to think that far ahead. I am trying to plan Christmas now and people think it is still too early. Like I said I drive peple crazy trying to plan things way ahead of time. It is the way that I operate.
I just like to think things thru slowly before I make up my mind one way or another. On the bright side, I have an interview at a personnel agency this morning. We shall see how that goes. They have never helped me in the passed.
Good morning to everyone as it is 6:53 a.m. this fine Thursday morning. I hope each and everyone has a good day to day and may God go with you all from Diane Baillie
Replies
One year sounds like a good idea. Anything more would definetly be overkill and perhaps a waste of time.
I\'ve had a lot of marriage proposals(probably because I\'ve always been strict about premarital sex) and few proposed in the 2nd month.
I agree with Truhal....giving it some time is a wise idea...the relationship is just beginning....and both of you are coming out of different difficult circumstances....in many ways, Dave has as much to recover from as you do, just a different sort of loss and pain, but no less real...having been on the receiving end of a failed relationship where the partner walked out, I know that it was quite a long while before I decided I was willing to even consider the idea of a committed relationship....I had no problem with being monogamous, just wasn\'t sure I ever wanted another \"permanent\" relationship....It\'s different for me this time, my husband did not leave me of his own deliberate choice, and although I know I\'m not ready for a committed relationship...yet....I am already certain that I want another one....when the time is right....
Can\'t agree with the 2 comments, sorry, I feel you should get the facts NOW, if you wait a year and he doesn\'t want a permanent commitment, you are only going to get hurt again. Hugs, Wendy
I can\'t even imagine asking for any kind of commitment after only two months especially after coming out of a bad relationship...I would just let it play out and see where it goes..what he says now about marriage or in common relationship doesn\'t mean he will feel that way several months from now. You are in the early stages of this relationship. It would take a lot for me to marry again or live with someone. I think I would rather have a compainionship build with trust and confidence. Hugs..Ellen