I am Anxious

Well Im back again to express my feeling in a safe environment

So, my daughter is going away to college and I did not think this would bother me soo much but it does, I am having a lot of random thoughts. I am not sure if it is the stress of trying to do EVERYTHING or just my fear of letting her go. It was my idea for all of my children to go away to school and learn, grow and develop without me but Im not sure if Im going to make it, smh. (No punctuation used during the writing of this entry, just want to flow)

Anyway, Im anxious, tired, some times depressed, my emotions are ALL OVER THE PLACE!! Im thinking about money and Im afraid she will not make friends or do well in school. Did I teach her enough to be on her own, smh. Im just afraid, that's all.

focusing on the positive, IM PROUD AS HELL!! I feel like im a good mom and did the best I could with what I had, so I want her to have a fighting chance. She is a good student in school, good grades except for senior year, good attitude except for her period cycle. Ive been trying to change that, great personality except with me sometimes. she is friendly and enjoys long walks, lol. Good kid.

New Flash** Her dad told me that she said she thinks she is gay but has not told me this yet. I dont want to hear that nonsense, she has not had sex either way so what is this. And I really dont care, who you fuck should not define your total person. However, my religion does not condone homosexuality and she knows my opinion about this matter. Please do not go and waste my money over some ass(man or woman), go get an education, smh. Im a heterosexual and i do not have a parade, please get an education.

oan: Im lonely and over stressed about a lot in my life. my apartment building is in foreclosure and the landlandy is fighting it in court. but I dont want to wait, I need to find someplace comparable to this. I live in a great unit but not so great city, and I pay much less than I should. so i want her to save this house, but i dont want to wait until the last minute.

my job is working my nerves, but I need it for my bills and her tuition, her father is dead on his feet trying to pay this bill.

my school is almost finished, i have 12 more credits to completion in jan 2017. I just need to focus

my light bill is higher than my check, this aptment is so big that the heating bill is always being paid in the summer. smh.

I need another job and some peace of mind. Jesus please bless me with patience and understanding and everything.

Gn