I am always suspicious...

I find I am anxious every time Charlie is outside, around any of his hiding spots.
He has been doing all right, but then he slides like he did when Laura was at the cottage...
Anyhow, today my suspicious mind and hot temper dealt us a blow.
He went out on his motorcycle to get buns for the burgers, and my phone was ringing with the motorcycle sound - but I couldn't find it for a while...thing is, I was convinced that he was calling me for help since his motorcycle had taken a while to start. I headed to the car to go search for him, but there he was, backing into his place in the garage.
It was smokey, and I jumped to conclusions: "Oh, I interrupted you having a smoke. Did you buy vodka, too?"
Oh he was mad.
Came down and kissed me perfunctorily on the mouth (since I have said he won't kiss me because I can taste the cigarettes and vodka) and threw the buns on the counter, and stormed out. Of course he called me a f-ing bitch and I retaliated that it was natural that I don't trust him. I also tried to explain why I was going out to the car, to get...?? Sympathy votes or something for shooting from the hip??
Took his car this time. I am always on tenterhooks when he leaves in a rage, in case he has an accident...