I am afraid of being alone the rest of my life.
I am afraid of being alone the rest of my life. I had ten good years with Smokey before he died. I don't want to be alone. Then again, I don't want to settle for just anyone because I am afraid of living the rest of my life alone. I would rather learn to love myself, be happy with myself and learn to love living alone then to settle for anyone. I settled the first time when I got married and now we are divorced. It was not much fun let me tell you that for sure. When you settle, you don't get what you really want, need or get what is best for you. Maybe you don't believe me, but I had the best with Smokey and I want the best again, if that is possible, or I will live alone. Settling for anyone so a person is not alone is not a very good option and it sucks. I speak from personal experience. I want it to be good this time round for me. I am learning what I want, accept and don't want in my life. It's a good thing. Once you know what you want, accept and don't want, it makes life a whole lot easier. I am in that particular process and I have vented in my journal writings about various things. I think I am on the road of inward healing and self reflection. It's neither good nor bad but just is the fact.
Where is everyone else in their own stage of grief or inward healing?
All the best to you from Diane Baillie
Where is everyone else in their own stage of grief or inward healing?
All the best to you from Diane Baillie
Replies
Are you not seeing Dave anymore? How is the temp job search? Hugs, Wendy
I am glad you are healing inwardly. The discoveries that you have made are very good to keep you on a positive path through this grief journey. Is Dave still in the picture? I hope you had a great Mother\'s Day!
Sometimes when I think I am healing, I usually realize later that I am not. I always wake up unhappy in the morning, and this morning I had to ask God again why He did this to me. Guilt came back, wondering if I am being punished for not being a good enough wife.
I, too, worry that I will spend the rest of my years alone, with no one to look after me when I an unable. At least my grandmother had my mom and my aunt; my aunt had her son and daughter. I have no one. But, like you, I am not going to \"settle\" for someone just to avoid being alone. In fact, I am not interested in having a relationship, which pretty much guarantees that I will be alone.
So, I guess I have done some self-reflection, but I do not feel much healing going on. I still just exist because I have to.
Now I have to go out and continue cutting the grass. I planted annuals yesterday.
I hope you have a great day!
Hugs, Patti