I am a source of comfort for Blue
Blue has been very vocal, more than usual, lately. He is my child and so when he cries I stop what I am doing and tend to him. It's the role of parent that I can't deny. And so here I am with him on my bed, me leaning against the head board while watching tv and Blue is rolled over on his back with a beautiful kitty smile on his face while his eyes are closed sleeping away. He's content and I am thinking about taking care of things. It's all good.
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.....and Blue is a source of comfort for me.
My mind and mood can shift so crazy fast - that one decision to do something to remedy my needs at the one moment
might be met by an even greater need right after and so an intransigence sets in...and a blind rumination.....stuck in the moment....
But the memory of talking to my therapist about not getting lost in the details - and of needing
to be self responsible -
and that much of my need is about changing my experience and giving myself experiences that I want...
has me learning or motivating to lift myself up - from a place of a mindset - where I am 'going forward' no matter how the details of my thought processes might nag me
- to 'keep on keeping on' no matter the momentary double thought and neurotic feeling.
I was looking at Blue - and I am so grateful for Blue's companionship - I got up from bed to write this journal and his eyes opened and he
gave me such a lovely kitty smile...so I kissed him on his head and then made my way to the kitchen where my laptop is.
Things are good - well they are ameliorating...Now to wash up some dishes and ready my meds for the night. peace.
You are one of the few people I have encountered that can get me ameliorating for a dictionary on a routine basis.
How ameliorative. . .
Personally, I'm wondering if Blue is your familiar. That is even more ameliorate than a child. A familiar is an extension of yourself. Now I gotta watch "The Golden Compass" again. They do a wonderful, albeit fanciful, job of describing the role of familiars in a human life.
It might be ameliorate if you let it be okay that it takes a lifetime to learn how to be fully yourself. It be a trial and error process, so it's okay to fly off course every so often. Did you know that an airplane's auto-pilot is only on course about 5% of the time? it spends 95% of its functional time making course corrections.
Thanks Arfie!