I am a bitter woman

I am a bitter woman from my ex-husband.  He left so many scars.  Yesterday, when my brother Don came over for a visit, we got into a fight.  I did not realize how bitter my soul & spirit had become from my ex-husband.  My late-husband Smokey liked and respected me and treated me accordingly.  My ex-husband Gary treated me horribly to say the least.  There are so many scars left by him that my soul has become bitter.  Yesterday was an eye opener for me, which in turn shocked me.  I thought I had healed from my ex-husband to the point where I got into a great relationship with Smokey.  Hmmmm....me thinks the scars are still there.  Have I really healed?  I am wondering that about myself.  My family only knew what I told them and it was just the tip of the iceberg.  They did not really know how terrible Gary was to me.  I keep most of it inside.  No one needs to know about it all.   I lived it and so did my daughter.  It was a wonder that we survived it all.  I think Lisa has scars from her dad as well.  Hopefully we will heal from it and get our lives in order.  It is such a shame as both me and my daughter are warm, loving and wonderful women.  How one man can affect two women in a very negative way is amazing!  How the two women have survived, gotten on with their lives, are learning how to grow and develop positive self-esteem is wonderful.  We are a work in progress.  God is not finished with us yet.