I accept myself as a widowed woman.
I accept myself as a widowed woman but still miss my Smokey. Its not the same.
I would like a christian man who accepts me just the way that I am. It would be nice before God calls me home that is for sure.
I talked with Dave. He likes me because I accept the fact that he is an alcoholic and haven't tried to change him. Its because I know its a short lived relationship. I told him when I can't handle it anymore I will let him know and then it will be over. We still can be friends. I think the reason for me is that I don't stay home. Dave picks me up at 3:15 and I don't have to feel all the feelings of being in the apartment all alone. Without Dave, I would have turned into a hermit and not go out at all. Dave cooks the dinners. Dave is not a bad cook at all which surprised him as well as me. I know my heart is not in this because when I am away, I don't miss him. With Smokey,when I was away I still had fun but when I went to bed I missed him and looked forward to when we would be together again. Its so different. I would like that kind of relationship again but I know it will not be with Dave. I think in the back of Dave's head he knows its not a forever relationship as well if he would admit it. Dave admits nothing. A few times all Dave said was that "I like you." Hmmmm....no commitment on his part either.
My heart and soul is black with sorrow of soul and spirit. Its because I get a lot of resumes out each day and still have not had one bite. I am still unemployed and that is really getting to my soul and spirit. I don't know how much longer I can hang on like this but I am doing my best. By that I mean emotionally and physically speaking. I am taking it one day at a time. I am open to office and non-office jobs all the time. I don't know what to go for as the world is my oyster and that is a big big world.
I just need to vent a bit. I am tired of things the way they are and could use a positive change in my life.
Even my newlywed daughter and son-in-law are having problems in communicating with one another. It got so bad one day I asked my daughter why did you get married. She said I don't know. I emailed her a word of caution as how their fights affect my grandson Tyson. She got the email. Lets see if she will heed my warning. Tyson is a great kid but if they don't get their act together, they could do him emotional harm. I don't want that to happen. We shall see what happens with the newlyweds. I wish them all the best. Lisa is very frigid and Grand is much too loose. They need to have a good balance between both of them. Both need to compromise as they can't have their way all the time. There has to be flexibility between both of them or it won't work. I worry about them.
Oh well...life goes on and so do we. I wish for a lot of things. If wishes were horses than even beggars would ride. Its a saying I picked up along life's road.
All the best from my heart to yours from Diane B.
I would like a christian man who accepts me just the way that I am. It would be nice before God calls me home that is for sure.
I talked with Dave. He likes me because I accept the fact that he is an alcoholic and haven't tried to change him. Its because I know its a short lived relationship. I told him when I can't handle it anymore I will let him know and then it will be over. We still can be friends. I think the reason for me is that I don't stay home. Dave picks me up at 3:15 and I don't have to feel all the feelings of being in the apartment all alone. Without Dave, I would have turned into a hermit and not go out at all. Dave cooks the dinners. Dave is not a bad cook at all which surprised him as well as me. I know my heart is not in this because when I am away, I don't miss him. With Smokey,when I was away I still had fun but when I went to bed I missed him and looked forward to when we would be together again. Its so different. I would like that kind of relationship again but I know it will not be with Dave. I think in the back of Dave's head he knows its not a forever relationship as well if he would admit it. Dave admits nothing. A few times all Dave said was that "I like you." Hmmmm....no commitment on his part either.
My heart and soul is black with sorrow of soul and spirit. Its because I get a lot of resumes out each day and still have not had one bite. I am still unemployed and that is really getting to my soul and spirit. I don't know how much longer I can hang on like this but I am doing my best. By that I mean emotionally and physically speaking. I am taking it one day at a time. I am open to office and non-office jobs all the time. I don't know what to go for as the world is my oyster and that is a big big world.
I just need to vent a bit. I am tired of things the way they are and could use a positive change in my life.
Even my newlywed daughter and son-in-law are having problems in communicating with one another. It got so bad one day I asked my daughter why did you get married. She said I don't know. I emailed her a word of caution as how their fights affect my grandson Tyson. She got the email. Lets see if she will heed my warning. Tyson is a great kid but if they don't get their act together, they could do him emotional harm. I don't want that to happen. We shall see what happens with the newlyweds. I wish them all the best. Lisa is very frigid and Grand is much too loose. They need to have a good balance between both of them. Both need to compromise as they can't have their way all the time. There has to be flexibility between both of them or it won't work. I worry about them.
Oh well...life goes on and so do we. I wish for a lot of things. If wishes were horses than even beggars would ride. Its a saying I picked up along life's road.
All the best from my heart to yours from Diane B.
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