Hypomania crash
Ive been hypo-manic since last wensday (6 days). It's not the most intense manic episode I've ever had, but it was the longest so far for me. Slept 3 or less hours a night for almost a week yet stayed hyper, optimistic, and extremely productive (even if I did have 6 projects going on at ounce and bounced back and fourth between them all)
It must have been more intense than I realize cause I had people from church who hardly know me calling to ask if I was ok, saying they were worried about how strange I was acting Sunday morning.
At first hypomania is kinda fun, definitely euphoric! So much so my husband actually asked me if I had taken something to "get high" >:( I most certainly did not ! But...I must have been acting " high " I guess for him to have asked.
After a few days though the euphoria turns to restlessness and anxiety as I can't sleep, don't feel sleep tired at all, but my 50 year old body is screaming for rest I can't give it. Cause I can't sit still can't stop running, doing. My mind simply won't shut down won't let me rest.
Day 6...just before midnight .....I'm working running on empty but running hard. Until CRASH. Without warning I'm a sobbing mess on the floor I don't even know what I'm crying about. Now I can't stop crying all my energy is gone. My only thought "dispair"
I guess it's good I crashed now though cause my Dr was concerned I was about to go full Manic and was considering inpatient as a precaution.
Replies
Big hug sweetie...It's great that you're working with your doctor
May need a med tweak.?
I hope that you feel better soon...xo
Yes definitely a med adjustment is in the works. Meeting with my medical team in a few days for that very purpose.
*Hugs* thank you
I'm not on any meds but most of my life I have lived on about 4 hours or less of sleep unless I take a Benadryl. In elementary school the teachers would tell my mom I'm hyperactive. At 48 I figure I've always been this way, but you do have me wondering whether I should seek professional help for the restless I face most nights
Wow yeah 4 hours every night since you were a kid. That sounds awful.
*Big hugs*
If I go more than 7 days like that my Pdoc wants me inpatient "for my own safety" he says.
I would definitely ask about it.
I'm naturally hyper, but hypo-manic is a whole different animal. It's racing thoughts, heightened senses, inability to sit still, focus, contrate, or stop moving no matter how tired my body gets.
I often get injured from over doing it, or doing something unsafe and impulsive. It's talking so fast that people can't understand what I'm saying and every single thought comes out my mouth with no filter.
I often end up offending people, over sharing and embarrassing myself.
I also getting irritated easily over little unimportant things and since I'm being impulsive and can't stop talking....I'm gonna say or do something Im most likely to regret.
It's not thinking and spending my grocery money on art supplies or something stupid I don't need, or agreeing to do 40 different projects that I can't possibly get done.
It's feeling free and invincible almost like a super hero....for a little while
But
Then crashing.
Like a title wave of despair rises up and beats me down like a concrete wall of despair, grief, regret, shame
and I'm drowning in it. It's horrible
Until I'm not again.
I hope and pray this is not what you experience. If you do please PLEASE do seek help.
I wouldnt wish this on anyone
I hope you've been getting some good rest and that you and your Dr have been able to make changes that work well for you
Thanks Beryl
Yes I'm able to rest now. I've come down. I meet with my therapist this coming Tuesday and Dr Wednesday this week to adjust my medications.