hunter gatherer

I have been fighting some darkness today but with some success, learning to not fixate on it - and keeping busy with other things.

I have been dealing with myself with a lot of pressure and I thought about what kind of pressure is enough pressure. What kind of expectation of me and my actions is reasonable. I thought of hunting, like in cave man days. I thought about when I was a kid

and my parents indulged my creative side - and sent me to special classes. They were teaching me to 'hunt' in a specific field so to speak. I never realized it until now. I never appreciated my own work to feel ok about pursuing it as my life's work...but now i realize

that they were teaching me to hunt and gather in this field... and perhaps I just am now and starting to realize that idea. We may be moderns but we're still out there making something, selling something - hunting and gathering for our daily bread. It was an interesting observation to me and helpful to give me motivation and to fight back the extremeness of the pressure I was feeling inside.

The news today was awful and regardless I am going to stay on the bright or maybe I should say knowing side so that I am not killing myself - but rather taking care of my needs.