How it all began.

So I've been lying for ten years now, well I should say I've been a constant liar since I was thirteen. Every child has little lies because they don't want to get into trouble or they want to seem cool to ssomeone but at thirteen I was lying to my entire family and myself and I was taught how to lie and get away with it. July 15th 2007 my twenty-eight year old cousin stole my virginity from me and contiuned to hurt me for the next 10 months 2 weeks and 4 days. I remember every single thing about everything that happend. I tried fighting back at times but it just hurt more and most times hed make me drink 5 hour energy mixed with vodka, enough for me to not fight but energy to not be unconsious. He told me if I told anyone he would say I was lying and that I wouldn't want tohurt my mother because they were close. He would pick me and my siblings up for weekend trips and take us shopping and everything normal family would do to keep it looking normal, I once even tried telling my mom I didn;t want to go but since she and my cousin were close she told him, and asked if he'd notice anything different about me and he said no then said have her come anyways and he'd talk to me, that was an even horrible night.. then the next day sat me down and taught me howto lie and get away with it. He said if you believe it then it's the truth. Every since I lied to my family every single day. they had no idea what so ever until my cousins wife caught him one night. She then blamed me and said it was my fault because I didn't speak up and she didn't say anything to anyone she just told him to stop..but he didn't. It was another month before anyone found out and that was only because his jealous wife slipped up and said that he was cheating on her and my mom came home early from the bar celebrating her friends birthday and her and her friend walked in on what was happening. He got away with everything because I ( the scared 13 year old) didn't say he put his penis into my vagina ( please tell me what 13 year old wans to say that to cops infront of her parents). After that I was lying telling everyone I was okay and that I am getting better, that I am doing good in school and that I wasn't just physically hurt but emotionally and mentally as well. Since I've been lying so long it'd easy and I do it all the time. I need to stop and get this under control before it takes over my life more then it already has. I have a amazing husband and a beautiful son who is almost 3 and I don't want them to never trust me. I started this group on 6-11-17 and so farI've gone 2 days without lying. I know it doesn't seem like much but for me that's a big deal. I hope to keep going and kick this horrible addiction.