How It All Began
My goodness... So much to talk about, where to start? I guess I could start it, well, at the beginning. How it all happened.
I remember it like it was a couple nights ago: I was 8 years old. I had just come in from an evening playing with the neighbor's kids, they were my age. We were running around, having a great time like any child should. So my mom, dad and I had settled down on the living room couch to watch our favorite T.V. show, "Home Improvement." About, maybe 10-15 minutes into the show, something clicked in my mind. I was staring at the T.V. screen happily, but then when I looked away, something wasn't right. I looked around the room and I felt as if I was in a dream. I didn't know what was reality. Panicked, I turned to my mom and asked her frantically,
"Mom?? Are we in a dream?!" She looked at me so confused as to what in the world I could've been talking about. And she replied, "No, of course not." But that wasn't good enough for me. I kept frantically screaming, "Am I in a dream??!" I ran to the bathroom because I wasn't feeling well and sat myself down on the toilet and my mom followed me and was asking me a bunch of questions about how I felt because she was scared too and had no idea what was happening to me. I was shaking, heart racing, probably sweating, but mostly I felt displaced from reality and I felt like I was in a dream, and that was scaring me even more.
Eventually, I left the bathroom and I went into the kitchen and I was pacing the room in circles, staring down at the floor. I don't know why this seemed to somewhat help. My mom called up my neighbor, who was a nurse, and had her come over to look at me to try and figure out what was wrong. So she came over, ask me some things, glanced over me, and said that I was having a panic attack and that perhaps I should see a psychologist about it. And luckily, there was one at my elementary school I could see during the school day for no charge.
I feel my life changed forever ever since that night I had my first panic attack. I've been living in fear of when the next one is going to happen, as if almost waiting for it. But I am well aware that you can't live in that fear or it will happen constantly.
This is just the beginning of my story, I'll be avidly posting as much as I can for I was really excited when I found this site, to be able to openly talk and express how I'm feeling with others and not feel like a crazy, nut-case that belongs in a psych ward. I just made my profile on 6/16/2013 and I already feel welcome. Thank you. :)
Peace. Love. MandyCat.
I remember it like it was a couple nights ago: I was 8 years old. I had just come in from an evening playing with the neighbor's kids, they were my age. We were running around, having a great time like any child should. So my mom, dad and I had settled down on the living room couch to watch our favorite T.V. show, "Home Improvement." About, maybe 10-15 minutes into the show, something clicked in my mind. I was staring at the T.V. screen happily, but then when I looked away, something wasn't right. I looked around the room and I felt as if I was in a dream. I didn't know what was reality. Panicked, I turned to my mom and asked her frantically,
"Mom?? Are we in a dream?!" She looked at me so confused as to what in the world I could've been talking about. And she replied, "No, of course not." But that wasn't good enough for me. I kept frantically screaming, "Am I in a dream??!" I ran to the bathroom because I wasn't feeling well and sat myself down on the toilet and my mom followed me and was asking me a bunch of questions about how I felt because she was scared too and had no idea what was happening to me. I was shaking, heart racing, probably sweating, but mostly I felt displaced from reality and I felt like I was in a dream, and that was scaring me even more.
Eventually, I left the bathroom and I went into the kitchen and I was pacing the room in circles, staring down at the floor. I don't know why this seemed to somewhat help. My mom called up my neighbor, who was a nurse, and had her come over to look at me to try and figure out what was wrong. So she came over, ask me some things, glanced over me, and said that I was having a panic attack and that perhaps I should see a psychologist about it. And luckily, there was one at my elementary school I could see during the school day for no charge.
I feel my life changed forever ever since that night I had my first panic attack. I've been living in fear of when the next one is going to happen, as if almost waiting for it. But I am well aware that you can't live in that fear or it will happen constantly.
This is just the beginning of my story, I'll be avidly posting as much as I can for I was really excited when I found this site, to be able to openly talk and express how I'm feeling with others and not feel like a crazy, nut-case that belongs in a psych ward. I just made my profile on 6/16/2013 and I already feel welcome. Thank you. :)
Peace. Love. MandyCat.
Replies
Try and keep in mind that even though *That situation* has presented itself, You can make it easier. They way i try and help it is to think \" This is my anxiety, my panic attacks \" it\'s normal for me to feel that way, it\'s the fight or flight response \" It has helped to *accept* not fight but (accept) anxiety as a part of me ... because it really is normal. I\'ll send you a link that may help. But for now - stay positive - keep busy to take your mind off it.