How can I keep this up ?????

I don't know what to do.

Day after day I keep hoping for the best. Day after day my hopes are crushed in a heart beat as soon as he flies into a raging fit over the least little thing that I had no control over whatsoever ! It never matters to him that I had no control, and no influence at all, over what he became so enraged about. He'll still blame me completely for his anger ! 

It wouldn't be quite so bad if his " blame " only involved simple name-calling, and yelling. But it nearly always involves some sort of physical abuse as well ! By that I'm talking about a combination of him throwing things around - destroying them, or nearly destroying them, - and throwing things AT ME !... PLUS a few times he actually " hit me " ! I blocked out the complete details from the simple shock of the situation, but I am certain that it did happen ! After all, I STILL have the bruises as proof ! 

Right now he's in the bedroom - supposedly napping ! 

I HOPE that he stays in there nearly ALL evening long ! 

IF he does, at least that will give me some time to myself.... some peace, and sanity, without him in the same part of the apartment. IF only he did this a LOT more than he typically does. It would be so great if he did ! 

I can only hope that possibly he'll go " out " either tomorrow - Saturday, or Sunday, - or BOTH - for awhile this weekend. 

The reasons for his " going out ", don't matter one damn bit to me ! All that matters to me is that he GOES OUT... AND STAYS OUT... AS LONG AS POSSIBLE !!!!!... PLUS.. 

HOPEFULLY... GOD WILLING...

HE COMES BACK AFTERWARDS... IN A " GOOD MOOD "... AND NOT IN A STUPID DAMN RAGE OVER SOMETHING I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH !!!!

God willing.... PLEASE... PLEASE GOD... let Tonight go peacefully.... including... but not exclusively... the time I'll be in the bathroom this evening while I get my shower. PLEASE GOD let him allow me to get my shower this evening " in peace "... with NO yelling... NO anger.. and NO rage.. of any sort... while I'm taking my shower.. and ALSO.. NONE afterwards..   when I'm back in the living room at my recliner chair. 

PLEASE GOD.. 

PLEASE let his weekend go well ! AMEN !