Horrible day

Today is a horrible day!!!!! I don't why it is or what is causing this change but I've hit a rough spot, I even left work earlier because of this. Their is two sides too that though because I forced myself to go to work in the first place and set a time of how long I would make myself stay for. I was actually able to work to the time I set. But I didn't stay allday.  Anyhow my PA's have hit an all time low it hasn't been this bad since they began.I had a PA on Friday night and than spent Saturday dealing with what I call the aftermath of a full blown PA and than I had another one on Sunday but it wasn't as bad and than I had one Tuesday after work. Now I'm kindof stuck in PA "aftermath" mode. It won't go away and I'm so damn depressed It's a constit state of either crying or being in some state of Panic.  I home alone right now and I will be for hours. I'm a little concerned about this but at the same time I want to see if I can still handle being home alone.   For about three years now I've been having a hard time taking pills for my PA and it had even been decided that talk theraphy was the route to go. But now I'm finally ready to take pills. I never thought I would say that. I want to blame this current situtaion on SAD (seasonal depression) I'd like to believe that it's worse because I work in basement with no windows 8 hrs. a day 5 days a week and by the time I get home from work the sun is usually down. But who knows if that is really the cause. I don't know and I'm getting so mad at this. It needs to get better!!!!!!!!