Hope the New Year proves to be a Whole LOT better !

I'm trying hard to stay positive - hopeful - and hang on tight to my faith - as far as the New Year coming up around the bend very soon. It's got to be a LOT better than this year was, I hope ! PLEASE GOD let it be a LOT better ! 


Can't sleep right now even though it's almost 4 AM in the morning - 12 / 28 / 18. I can't quite put my finger on why I can't sleep. I think it's a combo of being in a lot of pain, my thoughts swirling uncontrollably in my head, and being able to hear " him " even from out there in the living room - as he tosses and turns... instead of sleeps -- like he " said " he was going to do. My natural curiousity takes over, and I can't help asking myself... " What the heck is he doing in there ? " He said when he left the living room around 11 - 11:30 pm that he was tired from " all " of his walking. So naturally I assumed that meant that he would be going to bed to lay down, and go to sleep. Guess not. I would directly ask him what he does in there when he's restless, IF I thought I'd get a direct - calm - and completely honest answer - without him flipping his lid, and flying into a crazed state of rage. Before him I don't think I've ever known anyone that flipped out so quickly, easily, and completely, over being asked as little as one, or two, simple questions. It's not easy to deal with - knowing someone could potentially turn on you like a poisonous snake at the drop of a hat - literally ! 


4 AM now... he got up, and came out from the bedroom. It's just as well, since I know he wasn't sleeping. I told him as much, and I think he was surprised that I knew.