Home Sweet Home- New York

I am going to NEW YORK yall!! Whooo Hooo!! I am from East Harlem (Spanish Harlem)  Manhattan, New York. I havent seen my family on my abusers's side (Charlie my father) since I was 9 years old. I recently created a FACEBOOK account and decided, "Hmmm....I wonder if I could find my family on here." I entered my cousin Wendy's name and there were like 20+ results. I havent seen her since I was 9 and I knew it was going to be hard to recognize her. I sent out some messages to a few people who I thought could be her and one replied saying it was! Since then I have spoken with the whole family. They were very excited to speak with me and the same question kept being asked by every one of them, "HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO YOUR FATHER YET??? HERE IS HIS NUMBER, YOU SHOULD CALL HIM." To the elders I said no I havent spoken with him and explained how before I tried to keep contact and he didnt answer my calls after a while so I stopped calling. The only person in that family that knows about what my father did to me was Wendy. I told her about it when I was 19 years old. I dont know if she remembers or not but how cant you remember something like that you know??  The younger generation (30 years and younger) were asking about the same thing but with them I insinuated a little saying, "I dont want to speak to him, its hard for me to explain why but know that communication at this point isnt wanted." I dont know if I want to break it to my family what Charlie (he doesnt have the priviledge to be called "father", he didnt even sign my birth certificate my uncle did so to me my uncle is my father PLUS he has been there more like a father than Charlie has) did to me. I am scared two things might happen (1) They will be mad at him for doing something like that or (2) They wont believe me because it is too hard for them to.  I have decided that if I ever speak to Charlie on the phone I am going to ask him, "WHY DID YOU DO THOSE THINGS TO ME?? WHAT WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU MADE THOSE ACTIONS??" I want to hear him choke on his words. I want to feel the satisfaction of making him feel shity with his first and only daughters words. I want him to know that I know and still remember what he did and now I am old enough to confront him and make him tell me why...I even want to go as far as sueing him if I can and make him stand before his family and say what he did to me and watch him suffer in a cold cell for many years to come!!! Nonetheless, I have two goals when I go to New York (1st) spend time and catch up with my family (2nd) confront Charlie and possibly spill the beans. As soon as I get this over with I want to update my goal to CROWN MY HEART. Wish me luck...