Home from IP

15 days of COMPLETE HELL later and I am HOME!
Just got discharged from IP at Sheppard Pratt this afternoon...starting the day program at the Renfrew Center in Bethesda, Maryland tomorrow. Will do that for a month or more and then step down to IOP there and then back to my OP team.
I'm so pissed right now and nerouvs and angry and ahhh.
I just found out that Renfrew doesn't want me to see my Outpatient T while i'm there. I NEED to see her. It's been OVER two weeks. I MUST see her. My T in treatment SUCKED MAJOR BALLS. I'm so sad righ tnow. I don't know what to do :( I'm going to ask them tomorrow if I can see her JUST ONCE this week before treatment REALLY gets underway.
My heart is racing a million times a minute....ya probably because of my fucked up heart but also because I'm so scared and terrifed and nervous. I hve just wanted to cry since coming home...oh and I BARELY got discharged today. but ya....
Well I kept a HUGE journal on paper while in treatment. Tomorrow after the day program I'm going to start typing it all up...well the important parts and i'll post that....
But I am alive. Happier and Healthier. But scared to all shit. I don't know if I can continue this at home :( I"m so nervous- but I guess that's why I am going to a day program.
Mis syou all and I am so sorry that I have not been in touch very much :(
Hope everyone is doing okay...don't think I'm going to be on here much to comment and such- but i'll still be writing my journals. In a month or so when I'm more stable I'll probably come back full time to commenting. I feel selfish but I know I need to focus on myself.
 
Love and Support to all,
Steff