Home Alone
Winter Storm in North Carolina this Saturday morning and I am home alone. Except for Savanna (dog). John works for a contractor for Progress Energy and had to be in Jacksonville with morning at 7:00 with his clothes packed. They are expecting power outage has the sleet will turn into freezing ran later today. The ground is covered in ice. I can't even see the road for the ice. I have cooked a big pot of homemade soup this morning. In case the power does go out I will have my soup. When John leaves on this outages he does not know how long he will be gone. He might be back tonight or a couple of days. Since Josh's accident I do not like being home by myself. It is took quite. To much time to think. To much time to remember and the pain sits in. I will try to stay busy but there is only so much cleaning and washing clothes I can do. I do have 115 Compassionate Friends newsletter to get out. That will keep me busy for a while. If only Josh was here to keep me company. I can hear him in his room with the TV gooding, incense burning, and him laughing on the phone with Logan. Then the famous words "Mama what are we going to eat." He liked soup but he loved the juice and the okra more. That is all he wanted out of the pot. I sat at my desk yesterday looking at his pictures. I have one when he was about 9 or 10 making a snow angel. Memories. Thank God for my memories. What would it be like if I didn't have them? Even though they do sting at times. But I would not trade not one single one of them. I am so looking forward to spring. I know my poor fish in Josh's Memorial Pond is too. Their water is ice this morning. I am ready to see the flowers bloom. I am ready for the retreat!!!!! I wish each of you a good weekend. Mama loves you Josh.
Replies
Sounding like a reflective day for you today. Take care with all that icy weather and our memories sustain us, don\'t they? Enjoy the soup and I wish that Josh was able to share it with you. The longings that we have for our precious children are always with us. I hope John doesn\'t have to be gone too long. Peace to you this day. XO Joanie
Your journal calms me...thank you. I forget where are you in NC? I am in Salisbury and we got about 8 inches of snow...alot for us. So glad you are going to the retreat...me too! Love and hugs...Karen
That quite time is nice when we want it, when it comes unwanted, it can be deafing. Keep busy friend and hopefully the time will pass quickly. When my A.J. died, a friend gave me a plaque that read \"when a loved one becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure. In my grief, I got rid of it because I didn\'t want to think of my son as only being a memory. It was too painful at that time. In hindsight, I feel badly about my actions but we learn alot on this journey and I know now that our memories truly are our treasures. Thank goodness for them. Can\'t wait to meet you. Love Robin
What kind of soup did you make? A wonderful comfort food on a cold winter day....
I really love NC and they are not good with winter. I used to live in Frankilin NC and when it snowed the town came to a stand still. They didn\'t have salt and would put sand on the mountains and it really did not make me feel safe.
Where are you living? Hugs, Inga
I also have my major meltdowns when I am alone....a most mournful time. Lonely days are often reflective days...at this time, it is sad for me to go back ...but oddly, I am remembering Brandon when he was a little fellow...it is good we have those wonderful memories. I hope your electricity stays on and that you enjoy that soup! God bless you dear friend....love, dale...brandon\'s mom
big hugs rhonda...i think of u both all the time...and everywhere i go there is a ((PEACE SIGN))...AND NOW EVEN ON FARMVILLE...HE IS FOLLOWING US EVERYWHERE..LOL...AND NOW A ((butterfly))collection on farmville...they r with us!!..but i sure do miss cody...im making a pot of homemade veg. soup tomorrow...we been getting snow...but no ice yet!!hope john isnt gone long...i cant stand for things to b quite...drives me nuts!...well u take care...luv ya girl...cya soon :-)
I\'m now used to being alone, though I often feel alone even while with people. Glad you will be at the retreat. Good luck with all those newsletters. Love and hugs Cathy