holiday vibes as the Christmas holiday is almost over
We had special services before trapeza last night (trapeza is the name for the dinning hall).
We then went our separate ways to rest until 930p when the celebratory holiday services began.
I have to say with all the chanting, singing and readings, I really started to get a feel
for Greek and Eastern European culture. Being Greek has always been a kind of ebullient, though nebulous,
sense of pride in identity for me. Last night's ceremonies and details and 55 persons in attendance for the small chapel -
really gave me a sense of community and heritage and comradery with parishioners of the orthodox faith.
I think I have always felt a kind of sense of pride in being a "Thomopoulos" - - -but last night was different - I felt not so special as an individual -
but I felt a sense of enthusiasm and a part of a greater sense of ethnic identity.. It seems everyone in the world is touting their team, in life (if that makes sense).
Last night I felt like an individual in meaningful context - but also keenly
aware of, and not lost in it, my individual path in life. The music, the food, the fellowship was
all really great! We had our meal finally at 130am or so and then we sang carols.
Now I go down to a Christmas Day meal at a special 1130am time.
We've had all this time to sleep in. I would imagine my experience is something like my brother's in being in Greece and so surrounded by connections to family, language and culture.
It's after the morning meal and I am feeling the impulse to write stuff down - but at the same time it feels dangerous or damaging to a healthy state of mind.
I was seeing how so much of that holiday stuff is really female driven here at the monastery - perhaps because it
is a convent/monastery precisely. I like it alright but the carol singing was just out of my sense of things. I am not a singer.
I appreciated it - all the food and culture but was kind of detached. I suppose it's just my mindset of the moment or perhaps other things speak to me
more strongly.
Just to explain my state of mind - today is t I was noticing the difference in myself from when I am alone in my room to when I am in the crowd down
at chapel. I sincerely feel like a really special person when I am alone - at least I love myself - and yet when I am with the group down there - that kind
of sense does not come back to me. Or maybe it's just filled with adult to adult aggravations - It's funny I guess -but it also teaches me - that we're all probably coming from a place
of feeling we are special when alone and yet then have to get along in the group with each other in our adult busy minds and activities etc..
I thought about how I think my art is something that is my devotion to where I find my mind's eye - and passion
and special affirmation. Maybe it's a matter of sticking with that as my main source of motivation and validation - professionally too -
rather than focusing on feeling at a loss when down at the chapel - and thinking there's some way I 'should be'.
I know we each have to make our way in the world - with our professions and what we do.
It's kind of like I am trying to find myself in the group lately and yet also knowing I am
"individuating" still or all over again. I guess this is my process in healing and coming to
understanding.
Things are good. Peace,
Mark
Replies
i love people who can get me scrambling for my dictionary, though i'm not sure "trapeza" would have been in any of my paper dictionary collection. google is far quicker with the translations than printed dictionaries could have hoped to be. i can't remember the last time i bothered getting out of chair to consult that old world tech. i was a bit surprised to discover that "individuating" was a proper conjugation. i thought you were catching my own mockery bug of using improper conjugation, and i ain't metaphoring around.
now to get back to the intended topic. . .
i sound even crazier when i am not metaphoring around and i am having a bad brain day. my brain just won't stay in place for long enough to stay on topic. i hope you can forgive me for skimming the important parts. i seem to literate better when i am able to understand what metaphor lovers are talking about.
i hope i'll have another good-brain day soon. i'll get back to you then. literally. just me. the other folks of your third person plural will only get me lost in metaphor on a bad brain days. i get lost in metaphor so easily. the preacher's light should give me spots in front of my literal eyes.
Merry Christmas Mark
That is a lot of celebrating thus being with others in a couple of days
It would be very hard for me as well
What type of foods do you enjoy for Christmas?
I hope that you have some quiet time for you and Blue today and feel the peace of Christmas
Big hug...xo
Thanks Janet!!
thanks Arfie! Sorry for the late response!!
and I bet everyone has to deal with their past, having broken them in some ways maybe,
to still get up and motivate to create the future and their own life....sorry, I know I have had it very good in a lot of ways -
but at a certain point, I am sure a lot of people have stuff
that is complex that they have to rise above and get on with stuff
is it possible to have late responses in virtual time? my favorite thing about the digital media is that i can let it sit for as long as i damned well please and don't even need to explain why. do you REALLY want me to explain why i didn't rush out of the bathroom to catch your call?
i solidly disagree that everyone has to deal with their past? have you never heard of that river in north africa? i spent a good many years playing sheeba, queen of denial. i didn't even have to get stoned or drunk to accomplish that royal delusion. i didn't rise above much of anything until i took of that crown. i've known a heartbreaking number of people who wore that crown in their casket.
sigh. . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lkfrtztqEY