holiday

First July 4th without you honey miss you so much you were best at bbqing always you loved it so much.  I felt so lonely and empty without you and this is just the beginning of holidays w/o you.  It seems so unfair that the good ones have to leave. There is little to no peace in my heart the only thing I know is that one day I will see you again I hope it's not when I am 90.  I shed so many tears this weekend and I just couldn't get motivated.  I just wanted to sit in a corner and close my eyes and hoped that when I woke up it's just a bad dream but no it's just the bad hand I was dealt in life.  Waiting for some peace.  I keep praying for relief even if it's just one day.