ho hum

Does anyone else's time just seem to be flying out of control? It has been 4 weeks since my brother Mike died. It's been 10 months since my Brandon died................I'm at a loss for words at how fast time has gone. I feel like I've been living in a warp between worlds, not really living in this one, but not gone. Looking forward to the next one, but idle in this one.. 
It's all very confusing......... sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going. 
We did buy a camper.......... we have in on a seasonal site. This has been a beautiful time waster.........I will walk to the water, staring off into nowhere............for HOURS. sometimes Bob has had to come and get me......... 
I just think about everything, the loss, the good memories, the not so good memories.
I need to learn to live in the now a little more, instead of wanting to live in the 'there'............. 
I'm still so very numb. 
I'm glad I have Tyler, my oldest son. Bob, my fiance, and Stewart, my crazy lovable kitty.
Love and hugs to you all.

Lisa

Replies

gretcho
gretcho

OH I totally agree with all you said it has been three years since the accident and it feels like yesterday...kinda...(((HUGS)))
Missinglisa
Missinglisa

Your feelings are quite normal. I lost my brother after Lisa and I just seemed to be a robot for quite awhile. You will gradually resurface. It will come. Having said that, every now and again, I need to revisit the past and cry for my daughter, and I am fine with it.
Nature and being near the water helps me to cope as well.
Enjoy the new camper.
Love and tight hugs,
Marlene
jmk1973
jmk1973

Yes, time flies, or seems to stand still for me, depending on my mood. I feel trapped in a nightmare, most of the time. I lost my son three yrs. and 8 months ago. It left a huge void in my life that can never be filled.
My late husband and I used to travel and go camping a lot. I wish I could still do that. Enjoy the outdoors and the peace it brings...
(((HUGS)))...Julia
laura555
laura555

Crap, crap year for you with losing your brother and Brandon--no words to describe it other than some expletives. I\'m angry and sad a lot, but the one thing that brings me a smile regularly is my hummingbird feeder. I hope that the water can bring you some peace too. Hugs, Laura
MomofJosh
MomofJosh

Oh yes, do I ever get lost in time but the first couple years were definitely the worst for me. I think our minds play tricks on us while we are lost in thoughts so deep; the thoughts of what was, what is, and what could have been. It is so difficult and too damn hard! Camping and the great outdoors can be very good for the soul and I am happy you were able to get a camper!
Sending love, Leda
babiboismom
babiboismom

Nature can have a calming effect on our broken hearts. I hope you can continue being out in it often. I totally understand your feelings & send extra tight hugs of love.
Livingjuicy
Livingjuicy

Yes, I understand what you are describing and the concept of \"time\" now is all over the place for me. I have always wondered if it\'s part of the the mind, body, heart and soul trying to absorb such a loss as is ours...

I\'m so happy that you have a camper and can tell you that without nature I\'d be in a rubber room in a straight jacket. Ground in and allow nature to heal you in all its glory as you are.

Loving care to your healing heart and again, so much loss with your beloved Brandon and Mike. I lost my mom sixteen months after Douglas and it felt like a huge soul hit...

With you and caring,
XO Joanie