hmmmm.......

in this odd space......ever take a nap during the day and wake up feeling like you're vibrating, slightly sick to your stomach and want it to pass with all of your pitiful being?  if so, then you know how i'm feeling right now.

my mind is all over the place, make cookies girl........uh no.......cook that ground beef into something good so you'll have dinner today and lunch tomorrow.......sigh, maybe later.  while taking a shower i didn't realize that the shower liner was OUTSIDE the tub until afterwards.....so yeah, I drowned the bathroom floor......crikey. 

threw towels on the floor and used my feet to mop up the water.......which led to my 34,000th load of laundry since joining DS........still wondering who if not me will open the box containing the new patio umbrella, a very pretty marina blue..........the 20X purse mirror came today.......i thought my bathroom funhouse mirror was madness, this shows wrinkles while they're just thinking of becoming wrinkles......think i'll tuck it into a drawer until NEXT year.

spent time looking at t-shirts for my son in law at $6dollartshirts.com........he is a gamer so I wondered if he would like the one that says, "I paused the game to be here."  I don't know if that is current or a done there worn that shirt.......I'm so out of the loop.  His birthday is next week......so I need to figure something out soon.

called both resurgens and uhc insurance to try to get more info on the why a patient can't come in for two appts on the same day.  resurgens staff says that their doctors are all specialists, all doctors use the same tax id #, so because of that if a patient sees a doctor for two separate appts on the same day insurance companies will NOT pay the second claim.  .......so in my situation they say i have to come on two separate days.  ........ridiculous and not in care of the patient to my way of thinking.

uhc insurance says that sounds ridiculous, that each claim has it's own medical code, what does the tax id # have to do with non payment of a second appt with a specialist on the same day withing the same practice.......and yet, when i push them on this issue, the rep will not definitively say they cover the second visit, only that she believes they will.......not solid enough for me.  i asked her to please put me on hold and ask the claims department because I want to make this happen in as streamlined a process as possible.

in the end after being on hold several times she says she will find out and call me on monday.  ok shay, thank you!

i have 4 appts, one a week for the month of june, so that wipes out any other life outside of this house for that entire month.  it will be all i can do to make these appts.......then i'll also have to tackle getting tests done, x-rays or mri's before the orthopedist can take on my spine pain.  ........reasons why i am feeling this exhausted vibration in my body.......i'm getting close to overloading my circuits.  it's a lot right now......trying to be calm, trying to be ok.......i took mucinex.  the pressure hasn't let up yet in head......but  soon please. 

i have my favorite top ramen which is always a good warmer upper easy to make dinner......i like the creamy chicken flavor.  it's the only flavor i buy.......so boring i can be.  and i have a couple of those stouffer chicken pot pies......they bake in an hour and taste pretty good, like to enjoy one with a side of cinnamon applesauce.  nummers.......i have a fresh bag of those heirloom oranges......seriously if you like oranges try these, they are FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!!!!  I'm eating several a day right now, cause they are so perfect, not too tart, sweet but not too sweet, just perfectly delicious..............ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

my ears are hurting cause of the sinus mess.  nose stopped dripping, hope that thanks to mucinex........my neck feels stiff and sore, glands are so tender.......got that doublewide neck feeling....like if i were not a girl i'd be an nfl football dude.......you know the ones, the guys that have necks as wide as their heads...........it FEELs that way, but when i l ook i'm so surprised cause it's not as swollen as it feels.......it's tender on both sides lately.  it used to only be on the left side.......

i survived another rough morning of muscle spasms and difficulty walking/moving.......the first hour is the hardest.  talk myself off the scared shelf onto a safe plain of being, cause that's my job, to self soothe, to reassure myself against my fears.

if i didn't tell you i don't have a clot or a blockage in my leg according to my primary care doc, he says he believes it all muscular from the sciatica.........ok, bad to have the pain good to not be dying this week!  right???? right!!!!!

sunday is thank you to the pastor lunch at noon.......i want to go, but can i?  i decided that if i can only do one of the two things, thing a is go to hear him preach at 11 or go to the lunch .......at noon.  hard to say if i can do either, cause i still have to have enough zip to go to a new doc in a part of town i've never been to on tuesday........pray for extra lucky stars and guidance goodness to get to the right place........

i should stop now, maybe if i take a nap?  maybe if i have some top ramen to warm up my bones and soothe the pain in my ears......it's warm and comforting........the shower warmed up my hands and feet so that was good.  when the inflammation if like this it kicks up the reynauds syndrome and the restless leg issues.......i shared this with another friend but on one site regarding inflammation it said that excessive mucous is a top five symptom when inflammation levels are at an all time high.......i've had this excessive mucous problem since October/November 2018 until now........so that's um......9 months now.  a long time......i think the methotrexate, prednisone, privigen fiascos kicked me into overdrive in such a bad way..........pray for the ability to let blame go and deal with the road as it is today.  pray and pray and pray some more.

i wish i could go swimming every day.  i really do..........i love the water.  i love being bathtub water temperature warm up to my neck.......i've wondered if i got one of those outdoor troughs with a drain in it could i enjoy some lovely soaking outside this summer......does that sound completely crazed????? i mean i do live in the south, in the country.......if not here then where???? i have seen people use them outdoors on decorating shows, one in particular was an epidose of tiny houses with a big outdoor deck with a big ol trough for an outdoor tub.........so it's a little crazy but not lock me up crazy......take care, hold on and please take an extra hug with you from my casa to your casa.