Hit rock bottom and still going down
This has been the worse day so far. Let's see.
1) Big argument with dad.
2) Close friend whom I though I could talk to dosen't want to have anything to do with me. I called her 4 times and she answered once. Told me she was still at work and didn't call back. It's the usual dump the widow thing I guess.
3) Called dad and told him I wasn't moving in with him. It wasn't easy. Later I lay on the floor sobbing, feeling guilty about my decision.
4) Dog had seizure and it's not looking good. She's 15 and I'm determine that she won't suffer. I'm suffering enough for the both of us.
5) Dad called. He was kind and supportive. He told me how he understands as he lost Mom ten years ago. He doesn't want to be alone and would welcome me. So now I'm back in the same boat.
6) Oh, and I forgot. My window locked and I can't open it. Now it's hot in here and need to run the air conditioner. My husband used to always take care of that for me.
So that's my day in a nutshell.
1) Big argument with dad.
2) Close friend whom I though I could talk to dosen't want to have anything to do with me. I called her 4 times and she answered once. Told me she was still at work and didn't call back. It's the usual dump the widow thing I guess.
3) Called dad and told him I wasn't moving in with him. It wasn't easy. Later I lay on the floor sobbing, feeling guilty about my decision.
4) Dog had seizure and it's not looking good. She's 15 and I'm determine that she won't suffer. I'm suffering enough for the both of us.
5) Dad called. He was kind and supportive. He told me how he understands as he lost Mom ten years ago. He doesn't want to be alone and would welcome me. So now I'm back in the same boat.
6) Oh, and I forgot. My window locked and I can't open it. Now it's hot in here and need to run the air conditioner. My husband used to always take care of that for me.
So that's my day in a nutshell.
Replies
l,m sorry about all the awful things you are going through,and the terrible day you had.l think you have made the right decision about not moving in with your dad,maybe you could just support him and stay in your own home,just visit him and help.l couldn,t live with my mother,she would drive me crazy,so l just help her as much as l can.
We can,t do anything about the friends who desert us,l always think that they don,t want to be around grieving people,so these days l don,t let them bother me anymore,just get on with my own life.
l hope you find help for your dog,but as you say you won,t let her suffer,and this is the right thing to do.Hope you find a way of opening that window.
Alice
Boy it sounds like you are having one of those days that just dosn\'t seem to end or get any better. May be a glass of wine ? Your decision with your dad is a hard one as I\'ve said from the start. You really seem to not want to do it, I understand. Have you talked with a social worker about any of this. Just a thought. Living with a father can be hard. They resent that they need to be taken care of, yet ususally realize that they do. Hard on both of you. I didn\'t have to worry about friends deserting me, as I had few to beging with. My life was wrapped up in my family and thats all we seemed to need. Now the only friends that I have since Frank passed are here on DS. They understand all the emotions and fears, and don\'t walk away when you have a melt down. I think I have found more sister of the heart here than any where else in my life. As to your windwo I reccommone carefully running a putty knife around the window and the frame and jiggling it. May be this will break the seal that seem to have deleloped. Also I have found that after doing this a hair dryer blown around helps to dry out the wood if its swollen. Just a couple of things to try. Hope it helps. Hang in there and don\'t worry yourself to much. Things sometimes just seem to have a way of working them selves out. Have a good week end. Hugs Jane
One day at a time. I understand the problem with your Dad. You are both very much alike and relationships with folks that close can be very difficult. Six weeks after my wife\'s death I was getting several phone calls. emails and supper invitations every week. At six months they have all moved on and I don\'t hear from anyone. I tried calling some of my \"friends\" to see if they wanted to meet me for a meal but now they all come up with some excuse. I guess being around us folks that have lost our most important friend is very difficult and something most people try to avoid. I find however I am not lonely, In fact increasingly I prefer it as I don\'t have to repress my emotions. I do miss her so much. Seems to be more and more all the time. Not problem my \"friends\" could have helped with had they been here for me.
I did want you to know that your posts have helped me. My grown son has moved back in with me and after reading about some of your difficulties I try to avoid making the same mistakes. As parents we want what is best for our children but many times we don\'t truly understand what that is. Thanks!
What an awful time you are having lately on top of grieving for you husband. It is because of the grief that all these things are hitting you a lot harder than they should. I went through the same thing. The grief intensifies anything else you are going thru including dealing with your dad, dog, friend and window. The friend sounds like you should dump her. I can\'t do a thing about your dog but I know what it is like to lose your dog (I lost two due to ill health and old age). They were my best friends. You have to put yourself first. You will be useless to everyone else if you don\'t look after yourself. It sounds like you do a lot for other people and put yourself last on the list. If you keep doing this, you will suffer MAJOR health problems. It is not selfish to look after yourself in a positive, healthy and caring way. Do it woman!
I\'ve had days like this too. When the good days come back again we will perhaps appreciate them even more. Hope things get better soon.