his overzealous sex; examples of his sadism. plus, i feel so terribly unwanted

well. i've decided/realized that nick is not one for asking/inviting people, so i finally invited him over last saturday, when jess was gone. i planned on having sex with him. we had the sex, with a condom cause i'm still not on b.c. yet. but then of course, with how he does the sex: prolonged, with multiple position changes, well, the condom fell off inside of me. it was crammed way up in there, kinda difficult to get out.. my pussy was quite, uh, swollen afterwards. idk if it usually is, cause i never go up in there right after sex. but that shit freaked me out. i'm tired of trying to have sex with him and something going wrong. and he really over does it. idk if he's simply just trying to make sure i get mine, or i get more than enough, but he really goes overboard. and now i keep wondering if he's trying to fuck me up one way or another.. cause i looked at a previous text from a few months ago where he said "can't help it. guess i'm a little sadistic" which i thought might've been a good thing, thinking he just only meant in the bedroom. but i'm starting to see that maybe he means in everyday life. there's little times here and there where he'll hurt me, or i'll say no, and he keeps doing something. a definiton of sadistic is "deriving pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others." the one time i visited him at his job, he said something to me that was basically humiliating, no where NEAR something that sounded like he was happy to see me. so there's the humiliation part. when i got my blood drawn, the same day he poked the site, i said ow, he poked it again, i said quit, he poked it AGAIN and i said STOP. like, what the hell. that would be the pain and suffering part. not only did that shit HURT but he DIDNT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!!!!
OH YEAH! i also just remembered from last saturday, after we were laying in bed after the sex, i felt that i needed to check my bg urgently. i told him "i REALLY need to check my sugar" and i figured he knew that was some serious business, but 2 or 3 times he kept pulling me back when i kept trying to get up... i mean, seriously, this is life and death business.
what is he trying to do? what is his agenda??
and lately i've rarely heard from him, and everything over the last couple months has really been weighing on me, bringing me down, i just want to break up with him, cause right now, how i see it, he's bringing me down.
 
i feel so terribly unwanted