hi again

sorry i was gone so long i wanted to come here but had no access to a computer i was in a relationship and messed it up by going back to my x-husband man was that stupid i was in a healthy relationship for once moved to a big city and being a small towner in heart i got scared of this new thing mowt of my life spent in hellish circumstances well i caved and fled like a chicken.my x was abusive mentally and verbally and a serious alcoholic ready to die drunk.my family never liked him and i dont blame them for that but it hit home one night my father was totally drunk all the time and hated my x did i go back just to tick my dad off because i know it would reach his ears somehow? dad once told me i was a glutton for punishment? well in a drunk rant one night he said to go let my daddy go and take care of me -i jumped out of my chair and  was ready to thump him the rage of the statement how could he? then he threw me out i stayed at my cousins then called the one person i felt i could talk to--the one i had run from and wronged and was asked to come back so here i am we are working on things he was the first one i told about what my father did to me he didnt judge.it wasnt my fault and he wanted to help. i am ready to buck up face my fear and be in control of it.it is going to be hard.as i suffer from mental health issues i have kept myself away from people they judged me for my illness never really getting past that to see the fighter the survivor the kindness of my heart.i do wish the world wasnt so judgemental of what they dont understand and what is there to understand other than i am a person with feelings that has the need to be understood just like everyone else after all the years of hiding in the shadows now i just want to be known adknowledged i AM here reaching out......................