Hi
Hi!!! I am so sorry it has been so long. I misunderstood when we got the new page and I thought this group didn't exist anymore. I have missed you Joannie!!! Oh my goodness, I wish we could talk you into giving Facebook a shot, just for our group...but now that I see this group is still together at least I know I have a way of reaching you. Just passed the 5 year anniversary...of THAT day. Wow, it was rough, still is at times. How on earth did so much time pass??? And why don't I have anything to show for it??? I suppose just being here is something to show for it. It was really strange, last year was more gentle and I thought I had made a lot of progress, until the beginning of 2019 and I realized how long it had been since I had held, spoke to my precious one. I fell into a hole that I am still climbing out of...but despite moments of severe darkness, I am determined to climb. Sometimes I lose my way, briefly, but somehow I find it again and make it through another day. I just miss her so much. I miss the life I had when she was in it and the person I was, so oblivious...I really, really miss the future I had expected with her. Most likely it would not have been exactly as I imagined, but it would have been full of love.
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I am SO delighted to see you here, Gina, and I posted a journal to clarify that we have three places now to land and to BE. You are not the first who asked the question, so I thought it was time to make sure everyone knows.
I understand fully what you are saying about the passing of the years and I do think we are always progressing, yet sometimes we "forget" and feel as if we are back in those cement boots trudging along. Maybe we are for a time, yet as you said, we pick ourselves back up and continue the climb.
Oh, how I miss that life too and it makes me realize just how fragile and how quickly everything can change. Deepest of sighs...
Hoping to see you here when you feel the nudge and as I said we have three places to companion and BE companioned. Each with a bit of a different flavor, yet ALL about healing and BEing in relationship with those who truly can understand as only another mother can.
Loving care to Cassi and to you always from Douglas and me,
XO Joanie
Welcome back Gina.
Hugs
Terri Tony n Mikey’s ma
Love you Gina.
I understand, Gina. I grieve the life I had, the future I thought I would have with Ed. So many layers..
But we are here, living, loving, helping others as best we can and I think you've accomplished more than you know. Love to you and dearest Cassi, Linda ♡
SO glad to see you here dear Gina. And I'm sorry for all of the confusion surrounding FMO and our three avenues in which to find us and share. A hardy WELCOME BACK!
At 12 years along this path, I too can SO relate to everything you've said. I miss what I had, and I also miss what I imagined I'd have by now....and I'm missing what won't be 10 years from now. It's a strange thing. Before, I never thought about what might be missed....life was just going on. And as you said, I too was happily oblivious to any "danger" of losing life as I knew it.
Linda is so right, you've accomplished much more than you may realize at this moment. And JJ is always right, LOL, we do feel as if we've slipped back into those cement boots at times, and yet, we are driven, and determined as you say, to keep climbing. Keep climbing my beautiful friend, you ARE reaching higher ground!
We're here for you. We love you. We love Cassi. And we'll do this together!
Love and tightest of heart hugs,
Teri
0Hi Gina !! I so agree.. it's been 10 - soon to be 11 years since Jen left this earth... I have to keep on going... I have learned so much about grieving, I almost feel professional about it... but then there are those days... It's like the day after all over again. And I hate crying (Mostly because I'm an ugly crier, runny red nose, puffy eyes looking like I have't slept in days kind of crier !! LOL)
today is Mother's day... a mixed bag to be sure. I see the posts from Jenn's girls and miss what a wonderful grandmother she would have been...so over the moon about those precious babies.
Hugs to you and love to Cassie
MaryLou