hey.......5/24

let's have hug/prayer in care of each other time ......now is good. later is fine.......when you and i have that bit of energy in our mind....let our hearts lead us into care of each other's daily journey.

with prayer.  simple, empowering prayer.  a conversation with our creator.

we all have challenges, obstacles......sometimes despair weighs on us.  how can we manage?  how can we continue on?  how can we handle this hour.....let alone the day, tonight, tomorrow..........how?

prayer is a wonderful way to connect.  i am going to try very hard to remember the phrase i heard recently about prayer.....i can neither find nor remember the phrase that captured me the instant i heard it.  it was in one of the later episodes of a show called Granite Flats. 

maybe it will show up at some point in one of my brain files and i can download it. 

a neighbor came by yesterday to check on me, this is an unusual happening i promise.  as in save yesterday, basically never.  so we now have a count of one.  her son noted that my garage door had been open for a few days, not like me, so she nominated herself to check on me.  i was very appreciative of her help.....glad that i am indeed alright and just increasingly forgetful. 

i do try very hard to keep a strict routine for what i determine to be the IMPORTANT STUFF.  keys in the same place, chores done on the same basic schedule.....purse same place and so forth.  it helps as i am so very distracted and foggy.  it has worked for the most part.....but yes, i have occasionally left a burner or the oven on.  i wonder why designers don't put something on the units, like ovens that will notify the homeowner.  an alarm of some sort.  my stove has a little red light that stays on until the heat cools to a certain point to keep anyone from getting injured after recent use.  but why not go the rest of the way?  perhaps newer models have such a device?

changing the kitty litter was extra gross and harder than usual.  i coulda sworn i changed it last wednesday......change it every 7 days.   but my word.......it was well as i mentioned gross.........thank goodness for paper towels and cleaners that remove ucky grossness quickly.  you'r probably thinking who shares stuff like this?  well sigh, me i guess.  i told myself that i could sit on the shower chair after......it's sad when even that which is a reward is also hard to do.  but once i got the trash bagged, things fresh and tidy......i hit the shower.

as usual it's good to be clean and shiny.....fresh jammies.  be content and thankful for the smallest of things.  but......no buts.  be content and grateful. 

i'm trying.  now the bags are sitting on the garage floor and the next trigger goes off......take it to the curb young lady.  get your mail. the mail has been sitting there for several days.  not to mention all the rain, your mail will be a soggy mess.  just get your robe on old lady and skedaddle........you can put the bags in your trunk and escort it down.  trash pick up is tomorrow.  you don't want that trash sitting there marinating do you?

noooooooooooo i don't.  but do i want to eradicate the problem more than i want to lie back down?  i slept again the majority of the day.  finally awake enough to eat cottage cheese & peaches followed by tuna fish on crackers.  i know, it's pretty amazing cuisine aaaa? a no cook meal helps.......

laundry is washing away, dishes put away.......forgot to restock the cat food.  oh well.  please don't hate me for the sorry lack of imagery, creativity and delightful stories.  i just don't seem to have much in the way of any of that right now.  sick is a dull job so much of the time.  a full time dullness that settles in like a fine film on everything......creating dust in the home and of the mind. 

and then i think is this all for the rest of life?  is this it?  aside from the occasional outing with the kids am i done? 

i fight pitying thoughts. i try, but when a flare goes on and on i get discouraged.  hard not to.........

one thing did happen today now that i think of it........annie jumped on me around 4 pm, she plays the part of cat alarm clock, jumping over me in a race like fashion until i finally rise and walk to the kitchen.  she is very annoying and very accurate on the time.  she KNOWS when it's 9:30 and when it's 4:00 ......

i get up immediately annoyed by the ever hovering about my feet rio, no matter how much i have tried a variety of ways to discourage this, he does not learn........which further confirms the hyposthesis that no matter how sweet rio can be he is just not the sharpest tool in the shed.  but we can't all be einstein......i'm sure not.  maybe rio has brain fog?  huh.........maybe so.

anyway, i give them their food, it's been raining nonstop around here....we even had a tornado alert earlier today.  but as i put the food on the floor for them the rain intensifies.  it's raining so hard, heavy white sheets of rain.........and rio spooks.  takes off, i follow calling him cause annie will eat his and hers if she can find a way.  i see rio dash under the bed.......ahhh rio.......bless your heart, come on and eat.  i walk back in and rio trots along......but if i head out of the kitchen he stays close.........and it is raining very hard......must be deafening to a cat's finely tuned ears.  so i give up and stay close to the kitties.......this gives Rio the courage to eat.........annie on the other hand is gobbling very fast so she can overtake the second bowl meant for rio.  i have to take it away from annie and trade out the bowls so rio gets his fair share...........in order to keep rio on task i have to remain in the kitchen doing chores. 

chores that i had no earthly intention of doing today.  it's good they are done.  poor little rio.......as the rain lessed the sun suddenly came out.........and i thought there surely must be a rainbow in the sky.  but it never occurred to me to open the door and look.  a sure sign of crash/flare behavior......and now a few hours later i am thinking of it......and yet i am so sleepy. 

maybe i should start taking a half tab of caffeine if the morning? see if that helps at all?  not that i would remember to do it......but it's a thought.  hmmmmm.  we'll see.  a yellow sticky note could help retrain me enough to try this theory out.......maybe maybe maybe. 

ok i'm done torturing you with my lost thoughts and overall woolgathering.  hold on with all of your heart......the better days do come.........and when despair sits on your chest give it to the Lord.  he can help with any and all seemingly immoveable challenges. he truly can.  he truly will.