Here we go again....

Friday, He got his taxes back and offered me $300 I politely gave it back because I want no confusion when the IRS calls us in.  Valentines Day he bought tix for us to go to the Ice Capades. Things were going along pretty good for a minute and then the air began to get thick.  He mentioned to our son he needed to get a new girlfriend and I replied I'm tired of living a life that's threatened. I think this was started by my lack of interest in sex....not that I'd been refusing to have sex I just haven't been in the mood.  He politely told me either I needed to do it or he was going out and get it.  It just made me want him less. So now here we go with the attitude.  He called himself trying to address me about the way I was neglecting him and I explained to him that when he acts the way he does I have no desire to be with him.  I also let him know usually afterwards sometimes as early as the next day he's back to saying or doing something which I definitely don't want to get into...it's like sleeping with the enemy.  At that point I was informed I'm too emotional and that was my problem.  If I didn't like the way he talked to me get the fukc on!  It's these times that kinda throw me for a loop.  I want to just jump up and leave everything.  Just take our son and go but then I realize he's in school, I need to find a place to go and moreover I need to act rationally.  I'm saving money and paying my bills off.  I bought two coffee mugs to go into my new place.  I plan to take nothing from this place but my artwork.  I've got a Target gift card and I'm thinking of buying some bins to pack my stuff away.  In my heart of hearts I feel like I'm holding on because I want things to work because I do love him and I know he loves me but the reality of it is I have no intention of marrying him and locking myself and our son into a environment where this type of treatment goes on and on.  I understand now that it won't change unless he understands it has to.  My option is stay and live like this or start a new life where self respect, esteem and honor are my priority and maybe even a chance at the type of love I want may exist......