Here it goes...

Food food food. Why do we even need it. Can't someone just create a pill that will nourish your body. Nevermind- that would just make it easier to not eat and lose weight.

I am sitting at the airport about to fly to Miami to depart for our 4 night cruise. I feel sick to my stomach. I am so nervous. We stayed at my parents last night because it's closer to the airport and they could drive us.

We celebrated my sisters birthday last night meaning we had dessert. Since my sister has fallen into the popular trend of cupcakes, my mother bought gigantic cupcakes. Omg I should of taken a picture!!! Anyways we took two and split them each in five sections and each had a section. I tried so hard to get out of eating because they are so fat laden. Gross!! I felt so large afterward. I was so incredibly disgusted with myself.

I gave my sister her birthday present and she was extremely excited!! I put together a leopard gecko tank :) it took me weeks because all the parts are pricey. Each week I bought a different part. Anyways this week she is out of town as well so when we both get back I will take her to get the gecko. Immediately after she started looking up information, I think that means she likes it. Yay!!

So...this morning we had to get up at 0530 to go to the airport. I woke up at 0430. Anxiety is through the roof. I always get super paranoid. Afraid we will miss our plane, that we might of forgot something, that we won't make the shuttle from Fort Lauderdale to the port in Miami, that something will go wrong. I won't be relaxed until we are on the ship. I am just like my Opa. He is the same way!!

This morning when we were ready to go my mom hands me this huge bag of food. And gave me a large bowl of granola and blueberries. I was so anxious regarding the granola. I ate the blueberries first and then most of the granola. She said she measured the granola, but I know it was half a cup. A serving is 1/4 cup and about 200 calories. I ate the clusters first and slowly ate it over the 40 minute drive to the airport. When we got here there were just crumbs left...I told my dad that just crumbs were left and it was too messy to eat. He said okay. I feel so obese now. I can feel it sitting my stomach.

While sitting here I realized that I can totally purge on the ship with no one knowing!!! Because there are bathrooms all over. It's going to be very hard to not.

Okay about to board. I should have internet and phone access today, Thursday, and Friday. Tomorrow we are in nassau, Tuesday cococay, Wednesday key west. Here it goes. The terrifying trip with tons of nasty ass caloric foods.