Hepres
Wow. I am really spinning right now...
After finding out my ex was seeing OW when I was NC (and he swore he wasn't), I decided to do the responsible thing and get an STD check. I get them regularly as I have always been a rather paranoid person. The nurse I saw recommended that I get a blood test for herpes.
I have never tested positive for this in the past, and because I have never had an outbreak the test is contraindicated. Basically, the CDC believes that Herpes is so widespread (at least here in America) that it is not worthy testing for in asymptomatic people. It does them (and now me) no good because there is no medication to take, we have already been exposed to it, and most likely are future partners (whether they know it or not) carry some form of the Herpes virus. It just becomes a huge mindf*ck (excuse my language) of which there is no way out.
By now I am sure you can all see where this is going...
Yep...
I can up positive with HSV-2... I have genital herpes!!! Or at least they think I do. I have a rare strain of the Epstein-Barr virus that cross-reacts with the Western Blot HSV test and gives false positive... So they can't confirm the diagnosis.
The nurse just kept telling me over and over again that I have to tell my partners... But that they can't treat me because I have not been diagnosed with the virus (because of the possibility of a false positive, they cannot confirm I actually have herpes until I have a breakout that they can swap and culture).
I am just left pulling my hair out!!!
I have spent the last day and a half googling everything in the entire universe to figure out what I can do which is basically nothing... Except eat healthy, rest and avoid stress- FAT CHANCE!!!
So basically, I am spinning and do not know what to tell my future partners...
I feel horrible, sick inside... Like I am dirty, tainted and everything he said I was... I never cheated on him, so why do I feel so bad?
And worst of all he isn't here for me to confront. I almost blew NC today because I so badly wanted to go over to his house and tell him off, but I knew it would all be turned around back on me.
Then I would, be dirty, damaged and broken... At least in his eyes.
I feel so disgusted with myself.
After finding out my ex was seeing OW when I was NC (and he swore he wasn't), I decided to do the responsible thing and get an STD check. I get them regularly as I have always been a rather paranoid person. The nurse I saw recommended that I get a blood test for herpes.
I have never tested positive for this in the past, and because I have never had an outbreak the test is contraindicated. Basically, the CDC believes that Herpes is so widespread (at least here in America) that it is not worthy testing for in asymptomatic people. It does them (and now me) no good because there is no medication to take, we have already been exposed to it, and most likely are future partners (whether they know it or not) carry some form of the Herpes virus. It just becomes a huge mindf*ck (excuse my language) of which there is no way out.
By now I am sure you can all see where this is going...
Yep...
I can up positive with HSV-2... I have genital herpes!!! Or at least they think I do. I have a rare strain of the Epstein-Barr virus that cross-reacts with the Western Blot HSV test and gives false positive... So they can't confirm the diagnosis.
The nurse just kept telling me over and over again that I have to tell my partners... But that they can't treat me because I have not been diagnosed with the virus (because of the possibility of a false positive, they cannot confirm I actually have herpes until I have a breakout that they can swap and culture).
I am just left pulling my hair out!!!
I have spent the last day and a half googling everything in the entire universe to figure out what I can do which is basically nothing... Except eat healthy, rest and avoid stress- FAT CHANCE!!!
So basically, I am spinning and do not know what to tell my future partners...
I feel horrible, sick inside... Like I am dirty, tainted and everything he said I was... I never cheated on him, so why do I feel so bad?
And worst of all he isn't here for me to confront. I almost blew NC today because I so badly wanted to go over to his house and tell him off, but I knew it would all be turned around back on me.
Then I would, be dirty, damaged and broken... At least in his eyes.
I feel so disgusted with myself.
Replies
I am so sorry your having to go through this. With my exes promiscuous nature, I need to go get tested but I am afraid. I have not been intimate since him so I keep putting it off. This could happen to any one of us and its his fault Not yours. I wish I had words of comfort. I am so sorry and please take care of yourself. Hugs.
Thank you, Joanie... Don\'t rush getting tested until you are ready for it, because you never know what the results may say. I would also recommend not getting the HSV tests done, because unless you have an outbreak there is nothing anyone can do. It is just added stress and grief!