helpless
I really have no idea what to do right now and i am having a lot of difficulty dealing with this on my own. I just told Carlos that I picked up an extra dog for the next few days and one of this dogs walks is 7pm tomorrow. He asked why and I told him. He said that I shouldn't because he will be home during that time. Then said "so I'm not going to see you at all then?" I responded with all the times I will be home. He didn't give a shit about that and just said, "well i'll be at school during those times, etc."
He is so mad and angry with me right now. I know I am working a lot this week between dog walks and petsmart. That plus appointments and a crew meeting, I will be gone a lot, basically the entire day. I told him that his schedule is crazy too, it's not just me. I told him that I need and want to work, and also that I need to do this for the money. He got more upset and said that 'it doesn't always have to be about money.' He continued and said "I thought part of a marriage is that we spend time together. How are we supposed to spend time together with all this?" He said more but i don't remember. I kind of shut down to prevent myself from crying. A few minutes later he said he was going to bed and just walked away.
I can't control my emotions and crying. I am a mess right now and don't know what to do. I don't like him being mad at me like this. I'm not going back on what I am doing, yes i thought of turning some things down for a few minutes, but I can't do that to fetch now especially since this new client starts tomorrow midday.
I have no idea what to do right now, or what's going to happen, or how to make this better. He is just going to continue to be mad. And i'm going to get the brunt of this and no matter what I say, nothing will make him think otherwise. I hate this bullshit. I don't want to have to deal with this. I don't want to be complaining and
I know its probably okay to be crying because this is a frustrating and upsetting situation, but i feel like i am crying constantly recently. And I know I can't change the situation and can't make things better. I don't want to go to bed because i don't want to have to face carlos. I don't want him to keep saying that I don't care about spending time with him etc. I don't want to have to deal with that. I don't feel like I should be punished because I am doing so much.
Is what I am doing not normal? Is it wrong that my schedule goes completely off of his. Yes this is an unfortunate week because the evenings carlos is home i am either working or have a crew meeting and the ones I am home, he is working. I feel horrible now with all I am doing. I almost just want to leave the apartment and go somewhere else, but I cant. If i were to then things would just be worse.
I don't feel like i can do anything, but i also cant sit here with these emotions and this pain. now everything is running through my head. There are so many things that i want to do to hurt myself right now and i am tyring so hard not to. plus i know he will just get even more mad.
I need some sort of help but have no idea what or what anyone can do.
He is so mad and angry with me right now. I know I am working a lot this week between dog walks and petsmart. That plus appointments and a crew meeting, I will be gone a lot, basically the entire day. I told him that his schedule is crazy too, it's not just me. I told him that I need and want to work, and also that I need to do this for the money. He got more upset and said that 'it doesn't always have to be about money.' He continued and said "I thought part of a marriage is that we spend time together. How are we supposed to spend time together with all this?" He said more but i don't remember. I kind of shut down to prevent myself from crying. A few minutes later he said he was going to bed and just walked away.
I can't control my emotions and crying. I am a mess right now and don't know what to do. I don't like him being mad at me like this. I'm not going back on what I am doing, yes i thought of turning some things down for a few minutes, but I can't do that to fetch now especially since this new client starts tomorrow midday.
I have no idea what to do right now, or what's going to happen, or how to make this better. He is just going to continue to be mad. And i'm going to get the brunt of this and no matter what I say, nothing will make him think otherwise. I hate this bullshit. I don't want to have to deal with this. I don't want to be complaining and
I know its probably okay to be crying because this is a frustrating and upsetting situation, but i feel like i am crying constantly recently. And I know I can't change the situation and can't make things better. I don't want to go to bed because i don't want to have to face carlos. I don't want him to keep saying that I don't care about spending time with him etc. I don't want to have to deal with that. I don't feel like I should be punished because I am doing so much.
Is what I am doing not normal? Is it wrong that my schedule goes completely off of his. Yes this is an unfortunate week because the evenings carlos is home i am either working or have a crew meeting and the ones I am home, he is working. I feel horrible now with all I am doing. I almost just want to leave the apartment and go somewhere else, but I cant. If i were to then things would just be worse.
I don't feel like i can do anything, but i also cant sit here with these emotions and this pain. now everything is running through my head. There are so many things that i want to do to hurt myself right now and i am tyring so hard not to. plus i know he will just get even more mad.
I need some sort of help but have no idea what or what anyone can do.
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