Hellooo Out There -- My Introduction to DS
Hello Everyone at DS ~~~
I guess I've done this backwards. I got on the site and began writing to a few of you a few weeks ago, but didn't realize I should writw a journal entry about myself...
To begin with my name is Denise even though my ID is 2097Maris. I'm 59 years old and live in Northern California. Have had CFS for over 30 years, but really did the crash and burn nose dive in January of 1992. I was psychotherapist at the time and had to close my practice and go on disbility. Also had to sell my horse as I could not take care of her having lost my income and any ability to feed, clean tend to her. So, I am a horse lover, but no longer have horses. I get my horse fix by riding with friend when the opportunity arises and I paint and do art, so I also get a fix from painting them, which I love. I do pastels and accrylics mainly.
After about 6 years I discovered Jin Shin Jyutsu, an ancient Japanese healing art. It is similar to acupressure, but is a different system. I decided to study that after falling in love with it's gentle means of application and figured I could do that rather than return to work as a therapist. It was much, much lower stress and I could do it very part-time AND I could treat horses which I did for several years. My health with the CFS was tough, but I loved the art of Jin Shin Jyutsu and did that for about 13 years with several lengthy breaks when I had to stop treating and take to bed. A gall bladder surgery 3 years ago was the capper for me. My energy just flattened and each time I tried to treat someone I'd crash, so I got the message. It was time to only take care of myself and not everyone else. It was also way too much pressure on me -- always feeling like I had to be well, or get well, or get well sooner in order to return to my clients. That was never a good feeling and added more stress and depletion. So, I am retired and occasionally treaat friends or family if they need it, but only when I feel well enough. It's sad for me to have the skills I have and not be able to offer them to loved ones the way I would like, but that is another avenue of surrender and acceptance to what IS that we all find ourselves travelling on as we muddle through this illness.
I've been blessed to have had really good periods of feeling about 80% great. When I do, I swim, walk my beautiful poodle Maris, hang with freinds and my wonderful, supportive husband, garden a bit, paint, watch good films and read. I also knit. Love all things of nature. I try to make the things around me beautiful so when I am in a low, as I am now, I can look out the window and see lovely plants and a few pieces of art for inspiration.
I got slammed early in the summer with a hormonal imbalance that threw me, then depression, then pneumonia and now I am waiting, waiting, waiting for my health to return as I've been pretty much in bed for several months. I was too wiped out to read, or even watch a film or do ANYTHING....for quitea while. Bad phase. I am fortunate that I don't have Fibro as so many of us do. The pain I deal with is my low back, which gets very upset and cranky after lying around and being unable to exercise to keep it happy. If you're too tired to read, you are NOT going to exercise, so the back becomes a nag! I am, however, feeling a bit better, enough so that I could concentrate on getting onto this site!
I've joined DS as the ISOLATION is the killer for me, in addtion to the boredom of spending hours and hours alone. My husband works long days and travels a bit, so I am on my own much of the time. I rely on friends to keep me from going bonkers, but they are working and often busy as well. Already, being on this site and beginning to talk with a few of the folks here has been warming and sweetly supportive. I really look forward to getting to know more of you and learning how everyone deals with the solitariness, isloation and boredom.
In the past I've gotten into drawing Zentangles. (Google it!) It is lots of fun, but lately I haven't had the energy to do even that. I found a very soothing CD by Chilly Gonzales called Gogol. It is lovely piano music that I don't have to struggle with to listen to. It's the kind of music that is uplifting and sweet without being cloying, jangly or bombastic (as I find some classical music to be) and I can fall asleep to it. Just a thought for any of you who might be interested. It is a lovely way to pass the time, listening to that and doing some breath work which is also a good thing to do for ourselves. And audio books!
So, when I read the entries at DS, I thought to myself " I could've written just about all of those ", so I knew I had found the right place. It is such a sad thing that so many of us are going through this life changing illness, but it is wonderful to have found a support group and people who 'get it'.
Blessing of all kinds to you who read this and I send hugs and light to all of you. WE are enduring a great deal of hardship and it takes a lot of courage to hang in and look toward better days, better weeks, better months, better moments.
Warm hugs to All,
Denise
I guess I've done this backwards. I got on the site and began writing to a few of you a few weeks ago, but didn't realize I should writw a journal entry about myself...
To begin with my name is Denise even though my ID is 2097Maris. I'm 59 years old and live in Northern California. Have had CFS for over 30 years, but really did the crash and burn nose dive in January of 1992. I was psychotherapist at the time and had to close my practice and go on disbility. Also had to sell my horse as I could not take care of her having lost my income and any ability to feed, clean tend to her. So, I am a horse lover, but no longer have horses. I get my horse fix by riding with friend when the opportunity arises and I paint and do art, so I also get a fix from painting them, which I love. I do pastels and accrylics mainly.
After about 6 years I discovered Jin Shin Jyutsu, an ancient Japanese healing art. It is similar to acupressure, but is a different system. I decided to study that after falling in love with it's gentle means of application and figured I could do that rather than return to work as a therapist. It was much, much lower stress and I could do it very part-time AND I could treat horses which I did for several years. My health with the CFS was tough, but I loved the art of Jin Shin Jyutsu and did that for about 13 years with several lengthy breaks when I had to stop treating and take to bed. A gall bladder surgery 3 years ago was the capper for me. My energy just flattened and each time I tried to treat someone I'd crash, so I got the message. It was time to only take care of myself and not everyone else. It was also way too much pressure on me -- always feeling like I had to be well, or get well, or get well sooner in order to return to my clients. That was never a good feeling and added more stress and depletion. So, I am retired and occasionally treaat friends or family if they need it, but only when I feel well enough. It's sad for me to have the skills I have and not be able to offer them to loved ones the way I would like, but that is another avenue of surrender and acceptance to what IS that we all find ourselves travelling on as we muddle through this illness.
I've been blessed to have had really good periods of feeling about 80% great. When I do, I swim, walk my beautiful poodle Maris, hang with freinds and my wonderful, supportive husband, garden a bit, paint, watch good films and read. I also knit. Love all things of nature. I try to make the things around me beautiful so when I am in a low, as I am now, I can look out the window and see lovely plants and a few pieces of art for inspiration.
I got slammed early in the summer with a hormonal imbalance that threw me, then depression, then pneumonia and now I am waiting, waiting, waiting for my health to return as I've been pretty much in bed for several months. I was too wiped out to read, or even watch a film or do ANYTHING....for quitea while. Bad phase. I am fortunate that I don't have Fibro as so many of us do. The pain I deal with is my low back, which gets very upset and cranky after lying around and being unable to exercise to keep it happy. If you're too tired to read, you are NOT going to exercise, so the back becomes a nag! I am, however, feeling a bit better, enough so that I could concentrate on getting onto this site!
I've joined DS as the ISOLATION is the killer for me, in addtion to the boredom of spending hours and hours alone. My husband works long days and travels a bit, so I am on my own much of the time. I rely on friends to keep me from going bonkers, but they are working and often busy as well. Already, being on this site and beginning to talk with a few of the folks here has been warming and sweetly supportive. I really look forward to getting to know more of you and learning how everyone deals with the solitariness, isloation and boredom.
In the past I've gotten into drawing Zentangles. (Google it!) It is lots of fun, but lately I haven't had the energy to do even that. I found a very soothing CD by Chilly Gonzales called Gogol. It is lovely piano music that I don't have to struggle with to listen to. It's the kind of music that is uplifting and sweet without being cloying, jangly or bombastic (as I find some classical music to be) and I can fall asleep to it. Just a thought for any of you who might be interested. It is a lovely way to pass the time, listening to that and doing some breath work which is also a good thing to do for ourselves. And audio books!
So, when I read the entries at DS, I thought to myself " I could've written just about all of those ", so I knew I had found the right place. It is such a sad thing that so many of us are going through this life changing illness, but it is wonderful to have found a support group and people who 'get it'.
Blessing of all kinds to you who read this and I send hugs and light to all of you. WE are enduring a great deal of hardship and it takes a lot of courage to hang in and look toward better days, better weeks, better months, better moments.
Warm hugs to All,
Denise
Replies
Thanks for all of that Denise.Wonderful journal and lovely to get to know more about you.It is a great support site with many very special people .I am sorry that you have struggled with this illness for so long also . There\'s another friend of mine who also enjoys doing zentangles.Her name is angelady.When you write a journal it may be a good idea to write \" journal up\" in your updated status spot so people know it\'s there and can comment.Looking forward to our new friendship and wishing you the best.Hugs and healing xo
Thanks Di. Do I write \'Journal up\' in the smiley face area or where it says journal entry???? I\'ll look for angelady. HUgs
Her name is spelt angellady, sorry made mistake.Looks like you did have journal up already written. I probably didn\'t have my glasses on.
Even though we\'ve shared a few private messages already, I appreciated this short bio. We have a few things in common besides illness: my husband is a therapist, though never in private practice, my daughter is a horse lover, and I\'ve been sick enough a few times in the last 10 years to be mostly on bed rest and too weak to read or watch movies. Since those have always been my two favorite hobbies, those were some trying times. I could tolerate audiobooks, though, so they kept me sane! I\'m glad you found DS -it\'s been a real life saver for me.
Hi Denise,
I\'m glad you have found this site. There really is a lot of support and care. The problem with different medications is that there are always the side effects to be concerned about. I hope this new one helps you - take something to support your liver while on it.
I am battling with lack of sleep at the moment so not feeling too chatty. Tiredness fatigue weakness.... Sleeping tablets are starting to have a negative effect the next day so options are limited and despondency depression and desperation are setting in.
With love xx