hello gorgeous!

whenever there's a little bit of brightness on a low hanging branch, don't hesitate to grab the light.  whatever it brings.....energy for your home needs, time to smile.........if you find the tears welling up then lean over the edge of that gully and let the tears flow.  don't worry........just let it out.

for a time.......just for a time.  don't let anything eat you up.  not one thing........give time to what is needed but don't linger forever.  in the days of illness, illness that lasts for life.....you need to find ways to choose self over the past, over any regrets, over what you used to do or be.....over lost friends, mates.......but allow it to be for a time, not a forever that threatens to envelop you and keep you from who you are today.

sometimes we all think, "yeah, so who are we?"  or "what are we good for" or i don't know, something on the gloomy sad trail.  you can visit these places......you can wonder......but don't forget to get to know who you are now.

there are gifts that you have yet to give and to receive.  there are stengths and memories waiting to be felt like golden sun after a rain........don't run from the goodness yet to come. 

like you i've at times found myself undone by the untapped strength of each of us.  the human spirit is deeper than anything we can know.......until we are tested.  until we see ourselves bloom against the most dire landscapes.........of loss, over hurts.......we're here, we're good.  we're growing........

i just watched a documentary on the Carter Family........so i've got some really old American Southern songs rolling through my mind.....

Will the circle be unbrokenBye and bye Lord, bye and byeThere's a better home awaitingIn the sky Lord, in the sky

another one about keeping the sunny side up.......something worth thinking about........I saw the Carter Family perform at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas Texas when I was there with a church group ......a long ways from my home in Iowa, we were all about 12 or 13.......we were sent house to house in Ft. Worth, Texas to share the gospel with people like Fuller Brush Salesman.........I was scared......but I remember those pamphlets explaining the four spiritual laws we were supposed to share with strangers in a strange neighborhood far from home.  i was young, shy and scared...skeert is the better southern word.  I hated ringing bells for that purpose..........I am not afraid of telling people what I believe in if they ask, if it comes up in a conversational non threatening way.........but later on in life when i tried a brief stint as a mary kay lady selling jars of pink cosmetics it didn't bode well for me either.  our leader wanted us to "bump grocery carts" with perfect strangers in the store and then somehow casually rack up sales ......not for me.  not at all.  felt almost like they wanted us to create grocery store cart fender benders to sell snake oil. 

now don't get me wrong, i'm proud of my faith and i like cosmetics too...........not that they are directly connected at all.........but my goodness i'm just not gonna shovel manure or catfish or reindeer noses at strangers outta the blue. 

i feel like singing......wish you were here, we could listen to music on my cd player.  i just got some new tunes.  some sinatra, some streisand, some bacharach.......and more.  got 9 cd's for 4 bucks.  thanks to a nice deal from a nice lady at a thrift store.  whooweeee, so when i got up and headed in here i made myself do some stuff.

empty the trash, fresh kitty litter, cook rice, cook veggies, empty the dishwasher, wash dishes sitting on the counter.......and now i have two chicken breasts roasting in the oven.  i put them in some gravy that will thicken as the bird cooks.......added some no salt herbs and good ol' black pepper.  wish i had a little more energy to bake a treat.

last night i laid in bed and prayed to go see Grandma today.  it rained so hard last night, knocked out the tv......storming and making the kitties turn scaredy cat.......i read a Guide posts magazine and then read from another lady magazine.....not sure, good housekeeping or ?  they always have recipes that intimdate me.  i don't even know how to get the garlic out of the garlic clove.......and please don't tell me to go to youtube........please.  i need a down home cooking class.......rightcheer in my kitchen.  not sure how one spells rightcheer, but you have to say it with a southern drawl to make it work in the conversation.

it started raining again around 4:30, knocked out the tv again.......the kitties and i watched the storm for awhile from the window.......not as loud or threatening as last night's show.  my goodness.........how are  you?

the trash man landed my big garbage receptacle on the driveway again, but at least it's closed........it's not easy to tip that big stinky thing over and drain it of rainwater. 

my glands......maybe i should wrap my neck up in a scarf for awhile.  it would be nice to feel some relief..........

i've been toying with an idea.........not a big deal but i was thinking i could let my hair grow for the next two years.......until August 2018.  not sure if i will or if  i willint......but it's buzzing around my ears like something i could do.  i could save the hair cut money, if i want to keep my bangs there are several places that will trim bangs for free.......hmmmm, wonder how long my hair would get in two years?  i guess i am thinking it's maybe the last chance to have long hair.........a nice thick pony tail one more time.  right now i have a ton of layers cut into it everywhere so it's curly central.......but long waves might be nice.  i could use the money to pay some bills down ......and lessen the worry that owing money brings to my brow.

trying to think of other things to save money over a two year plan.........hmmmm, hard to think real clearly, but if i pray on it, the Lord will help me figure out what to do.......

sure would like to sing with you this day.........what are some of your favorites?  i have a million billion favorites.......some make me cry, some make me long for yesterday.....some for heaven......

the other day i wondered if i should pray about dating.  don't laugh but i decided to give up on that stuff when i stopped working.......and now i wonder if i was right to do that. 

random thoughts........it would be a very funny courtship.......we, me and my imaginary fella would only be able to date once or twice a month and it would have to include doctor visits or trips to the grocery or pharmacy..........so hopefully he will like to do these things as well..........laughter emanating from somewhere.........

i did go to the owls luncheon on wednesday.  we had speakers from a state wide library system that lends recorders and books on tapes for free by mail.......they have over 75,000 titles......all you have to do is fill out some paperwork.........how cool is that?  the lady didn't have very many applications with her.......like four......so the librarian for our local library said she'd put a stack up front by the register for any one who wants to come in and pick one up.

the food was good as always and the time flew by very quickly........and then everyone disappears.......i feel slightly discombobulated at how fast those women take off.......i sometimes feel that everyone has more of a life than i do........and then i think that there are probably a lot of women there who feel that way..........there needs to be a way to connect more. 

tired now......thanks for letting me prattle on.........someday i think the ds site will let us update our opening comments but it still doesn't work yet.  man oh man does that tick me off...........

hold on to some light as you dream........if you're like me a lot of time the word light is a symbolic thing.....lately i read for short short time periods and then feel so grateful when i snap the light OFF.  this has been a topsy turvy time where i am light/sound sensitive........where my eyes can read one day and then the next no way jose......the fibro is kicking me in too many places........and the complaints stack up too easily........try to think my way out of and away from these moods where ill health is concerned.....and pray for help about this too.......i love you very much my friends.

tonight i plan on watching all three of the back to the future movies so i can get outta my own gloomy head.........michael fox could be good for what ails me!

hugs, love, grace, faith, hope, joy.......and again LOVE, ruthie