Hello again

I havent been on here in forever. I miss my little support circle on the web. My depression got way worse since my last update in may. It was spiraling out of control, then it got a little better before culminating with my boyfriend and I breaking up. It didnt make me worse. then got better for a superisingly long while. I enjoyed the last several weeks of summer, my urges to self hurt and panic attacks all but stopped. my boyfriend came back on his knees (with flowers and crying, it sounds cheesy until i realize in the 4 years ive known him i'd never seen him cry), I did take him back (not without hesitation) but...anyway. I started school, i got busy, and my boyfriend became more attentive. I thought I was better. Think again. This month it seems the issues that are me decided to rear their ugly heads once again. fuck fuck fuck.