Healing after loss

Some-one recently sent me this - I think it's from some daily meditations by Martha Whtmore Hickman. Anyways, just wanted to share. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but for me it speaks volumes.
"  There is no question of getting beyond it. the litte boat enters the dark fearful gulf and our only cry to escape is, "put me on land again". But it's useless. Nobody listens. The shadowy figure rows on. One ought to sit still and uncover one's eyes.
Perhaps we try to escape,
If we do not speak of it...
If we drink ourselves into numbness...
If we submerge ourselves in work so we don't have time to dwell on it...
If we sleep, we will forget...
But our silence shouts to us. drugs will destroy us. At the end of the harried workday we look in the mirror and see our despair. And when we escape into sleep, we have to face the truth all over again when we wake up.
Years ago i was riding on a ferris wheel with my daughter and, being fearful of heights and imagining all kinds of accidents, I covered my eyes with hands.
She would have none of it.  "Open your eyes, Mom!", she called.
I did and it wasn't so scary after all.
Better to open our eyes and face our loss. It will cost less in the long run."

Replies

CorriesMom
CorriesMom

This describes precisely how I choose to face my grief and sadness. It\'s like the children\'s song I used to play with my kids and in the preschool where I worked. \"Let\'s Go On a Bear Hunt\". It\'s a memory game so you keep forgetting stuff and needing to retrace your steps. And there are many obstacles like a big marsh, a tall mountain, a tall field of grass, a swiftly running river. At each obstacle you stop and say \"Can\'t go around it. Can\'t go over it. Can\'t go under it. Gotta go through it!\" (swish/swish, splash/splash etc.) Just so ~ we can run but we can\'t hide in this game of grief. It will wait patiently to catch us unawares if we don\'t face it squarely and move right through it.

Thank you for sharing this lovely piece!

Sending love, hugs and thoughts of peace ~ Debbie
Mary4408
Mary4408

Thank you!
Missinglisa
Missinglisa

It absolutely speaks to me. Thank you.
Hugs, Marlene
CorysMom
CorysMom

Thanks for the cup of tea. Peggy
JennsMom66
JennsMom66

thank you for sharing this... I did try with sleep, and alcohol, work.. they are not the answer !!!
MaryLou
inmemoryofhattie
inmemoryofhattie

this is a particularly striking and resonating piece....especially the beginning....\"there is no question of getting beyond it\" and the end \"Better to open our eyes and face our loss\"...

thank you for sharing it......wishing you healing, comfort, peace....
Dreamstill
Dreamstill

This speaks volumes! Definitely need to open our eyes to see the next step in this journey. Hugs, Amber
Livingjuicy
Livingjuicy

I was given that book of daily mediations from another bereaved mom in the first days following Doug\'s death and it was the only book I could read. Written by a woman who had lost a daughter and her words kept me open at a time when I wanted to totally isolate and wall myself off from everyone and everything. I remember the tears flowing as I read because here was someone who knew and felt my sorrow in the deepest sense and was still alive to write about it offering HOPE.

I appreciate so much reading this because I can never have too many reminders of how to BE in the midst. As the group, Creed sings... \"With Arms Wide Open...\"

In gratitude to you for sharing. Thank you!
Love and hugs, Joanie
Abotsd
Abotsd

SO HELPFUL on an anxiety morning. Now maybe I can wash my face and get on with my day. Anxiety can be paralyzing and a good wake-up message, may be just the push I need. thanks, abby
DunneL
DunneL

Yes. Good to be reminded to try to face what is and not run and hide. Thanks.
heartsandhands
heartsandhands

Dear Joanna,
I have to admit I close my eyes when some one else is driving through a bad intersection, LOL! BUT I have had my eyes wide open as the worst thing imaginable loomed up... there wasn\'t much hope for Andy and we had to make the best of every day. I know you know how intense and bittersweet those loving moments are. Oh it was hard work but you just can\'t live life with your eyes shut. Thanks for sharing this powerful VISUAL.
Lots of love, Sarah
jmk1973
jmk1973

I still can\'t deal with the loss of my son. I push it to the back of my mind and pretend it isn\'t so. Of course i know it is, but it seems to help. Thanks, for sharing this wisdom. (((HUGS)))...Julia
RememberKala
RememberKala

I know I\'ve read this before now.....not sure what happened to my original comment. Interesting that I was drawn back today???

Here\'s to open eyes and SEEing the reality our ability to DO IT! That\'s me today...me and Nike....JUST DO IT.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Joanna - That was just lovely. Re-the ferris wheel, I had a similar experience with a carnival ride....later finding out it set me free.

thanks for sharing,
Fran
deleted_user
deleted_user

Yes, these words ring true for me and I appreciate you sharing them Joanna! Keeping it all inside (grief issues) only makes it grow more intensely miserable and boils it...only to have it \"pop it\'s cork\" on us! And that\'s always \"messy\"!
Hope your week is a gentle and beautiful one. Love+Hugs, Donna