Heading toward bottom again
Well, I found a full time job but it's a call center thing and I am waking up shaking and heart pounding. I don't know if I can hang on to do this. I need to work but I am running out of options. I would love to put my engineering degree to work but I can't do the crazy commute and work 60 get paided for 45 bs. I need to be able to see my therapist. I need to have some sanity around me. I have live with batshit crazy for too long. It's trying to drag me down into batshit crazy. I 'm worried about losing my apartment, car, basically everything but some personal possessions. I need some security and I have none. I can't just give a job everything and have nothing left for me. That is not living. Getting the husband out of the picture was a good thing. I was getting calmer, sleeping better, losing weight. Now with this job I feel it coming back. But I'm afraid I can't find anything else.
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