Headaches, Listlessness

 Today is Sunday. Normally my honey and I would have been upstate in the mountains, swimming, or lounging about in the sun or shade, in our anti gravity chairs we bought (they are GREAT), drinking hard lemonade,  talking with our friends or sibs, or with the girls, just hanging out, reading, basically just RELAXING.  Since I am now persona non grata to my DH's family, THEY are all upstate doing all that and I am home all alone. Most of my friends had plans for today. My parents invited me to be with them but tomorrow is their anniversary and they are going out for their anniversary dinner and a movie. They do not need their daughter tagging along. Even though they said they love my company, and I know they mean it, it is not right.  I have basically moped around the house, reading, napping, eating, watching TV. I have plenty of what to do but no motivation to do it. I have also had a terrible headache to boot which does not help. I finally realized it was a caffeine withdrawal headache. I spent the past 2 days (Shabbat) by my parents and they do not have "real" coffee -- only decaf.  So, I had eaten a meat meal for lunch wich means that since I keep kosher I could not eat any dairy. So, I opted for taking a Vivarin (caffeine pill) instead -- which ultimately is better as it worked faster. My headache disappeared and I actually feel a little better -- hence I am able to sit and write this.  I have been feeling some sadness today and missing being with Barry's family upstate. It is going to be something I think I will always miss now. I was so happy in my life, everything was so nice, warm, comfortable. I guess I was due for a shakeup... I hope all my DS friends are having a wonderful weekend.  Rachel

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Totally relate, i just returned from sequoia with my daughter. It was beautiful but that cloud was always with me. I wished Gerardo was with us experiencing all the beauty. Now it is just Sofia and I, and although I am grateful for what I have the loneliness still follows. I think I have been feeling a little low lately just my personal shake up, I guess. Sorry.
rsusselj18
rsusselj18

Never apologize for how you are feeling. You are ENTITLED to feel low at times. You are lucky to have Sofia and to be able to enjoy good times with her. I wish I still have a child at home to do that with.