He went out for ONE of his evening " walks " again tonight ...

Whether or not he actually simply goes for a " walk ", and nothing more, remains to be seen. Maybe that's not quite the right way to put it. What I'm saying is pretty much that I'll believe it when I see it. Words have always been too easy for him. Many times I do sense that he truly means what he's saying to me, but then there are other times I can't help wondering what he is doing behind my back. I want to trust him, but how can I completely trust him after there have been so many times that he's shattered my heart, and broken my trust ? It is true that trust can't be simply given, it must be earned. More, and more, over the years I've seen that that statement is very true.

Days come and go as tear drops roll down my cheeks as freely as a waterfall in the amazon. 

At first I thought that having you by my side would make the nights not seem so long,

but instead your prescence has added an additional darkness to my life.

Plus daily I see more and more how you have no true sense of caring,

instead you continually look for additional ways to bring me more strife. 

Why is it so difficult for you to do the right thing ?