He crossed the line today....

Today he crossed the line in a way that I never truly saw coming - at least not 100 percent, that is. 

He went completely psychotic on me in a full-blown raging fit - from hell ! 

It was so bad that he was destroying " important " things around the apartment, AND he charged at Me VIOLENTLY several times - HITTING ME !!!!!

He came VERY close to killing me today ! 

NO, I'm not over stating things either... at least I don't feel that I am.

How else can you describe it when someone punches you in the chest - right where your heart is - at least approx. at ! He punched me so hard on my chest that I felt like I almost died ! The breath left my body, and every spec of my being went completely limp ! It took me a long time to stop panting just to TRY To catch my breath afterwards ! 

Did he EVER say he was SORRY for doing this ?!??!.... 

OH HELL NO ! 

In fact, it was pretty much close to the opposite ! 

He more, or less, blamed his entire raging fit on ME ! 

Like ALWAYS... EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS MY FAULT ... ACCORDING TO HIM ! 

So today.... because we've been not agreeing about a large handful of things lately, suddenly he figured he was " justified " in trying to hurt me as much as possible !... and destroying things around the apartment ! - things we DON'T have the money currently to replace !

It was " typical " that after I came out after my shower - he wasn't here - THANK GOD... since I needed a breather from him, for sure - ... but also... the " typical " part I'm talking about is the fact that while I was in the shower he made a point of taking 2 things that I enjoy doing with my time, and UN-hooking the chargers for both of them so that it would be awkward - or impossible - for me to enjoy either one of them ! 

WTF !!!!!.... Apparently it wasn't enough that he yelled and screamed nasty things at me, and physically attacked me violently more than once.... BUT he also felt that he needed to ADD taking AWAY something I enjoy doing with my time !!!!! WTF !!!!

I was very blunt with him once I was out of my shower, and I asked him " point blank "... " So are you trying to push me into getting you to leave me ?! ".... He claimed " NO, that wasn't the case. " 

Well... we'll see.... 

I told him... I couldn't help wondering since I've been " down this road " with him before ! 

He's pushed me in the past towards telling him to leave me.... so he wouldn't have to have the Main focus of it ALL on him, I'm sure.

Well.... He's going to have to " man up ", and IF he truly wants to leave... then I hope he'll at least be completely honest about it... and tell me what he TRUE PLANS are !