Having my arm twisted!
There are some people who no longer want to know about any problems with me and Frank, so I have avoided talking about it. But, this being DS I still need to vent.
About 1 month ago Frank made the comment in a joking voice that I would lose him if I didn't go ahead and buy a house so we can live together. I KNOW THIS IS NOT FAIR! I do eventually want to buy a home of my own and move from where I am but he basically has given me and ultimatum. We have been looking at houses. I don't feel right about it. He's asked if I've talked to my financial advisor. Have I spoke to the realtor anymore, etc. He wants to save money to help pay for his "divorce lawyer" and so we can live together. He knows he cannot stay in this house because it's co-owned by my sisters. I've already been told by one sister that they'll try to sell this house if he moves in. He says he'll pay utilities and buy groceries. Good for him. It's just not right for a man to expect a woman, on disability, who has only a small amount in investments that her father left her, to buy a house for him. It's not right. My blood pressure has gotten high again. My anxiety is bad again. My depression is bad again. I won't bring up to him what I think and feel about this, but when it does come up I'll have to tell him. That may signal the end of our relationship but to be honest, it's just been too much for me. I care for him but he's putting me in a bad spot. If he cares for me he'll GET A DIVORCE and be a man and help buy a house for us. I'm calling a lawyer today, per a sisters advice, and find out what an uncontested out of state divorce really costs. If I find out it's cheaper than what he claims, she says I can call his bluff and tell him he's lying. He thinks I'm a lonely, quiet girl with a bit of money and he sees a great opportunity to get what he wants because he thinks I'm weak. I'm tired of being weak. If I lose him, surely I can find someone else. I will be lonely, but I can make it.
About 1 month ago Frank made the comment in a joking voice that I would lose him if I didn't go ahead and buy a house so we can live together. I KNOW THIS IS NOT FAIR! I do eventually want to buy a home of my own and move from where I am but he basically has given me and ultimatum. We have been looking at houses. I don't feel right about it. He's asked if I've talked to my financial advisor. Have I spoke to the realtor anymore, etc. He wants to save money to help pay for his "divorce lawyer" and so we can live together. He knows he cannot stay in this house because it's co-owned by my sisters. I've already been told by one sister that they'll try to sell this house if he moves in. He says he'll pay utilities and buy groceries. Good for him. It's just not right for a man to expect a woman, on disability, who has only a small amount in investments that her father left her, to buy a house for him. It's not right. My blood pressure has gotten high again. My anxiety is bad again. My depression is bad again. I won't bring up to him what I think and feel about this, but when it does come up I'll have to tell him. That may signal the end of our relationship but to be honest, it's just been too much for me. I care for him but he's putting me in a bad spot. If he cares for me he'll GET A DIVORCE and be a man and help buy a house for us. I'm calling a lawyer today, per a sisters advice, and find out what an uncontested out of state divorce really costs. If I find out it's cheaper than what he claims, she says I can call his bluff and tell him he's lying. He thinks I'm a lonely, quiet girl with a bit of money and he sees a great opportunity to get what he wants because he thinks I'm weak. I'm tired of being weak. If I lose him, surely I can find someone else. I will be lonely, but I can make it.
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