having another just smurfy day. thats a joke

ok, took boyfreind to get his car fixed so he took mine for the night. dont like driveing anyway. so, i guess it was an ok day, i am so scared to go job hunting, im 47 yrs old , overweight, no confidence, etc. at least my doc called me finnaly today so i can get my meds on wed if i can beg someone to buy them for me. dyed my hair again, you cant even tell i did anything. ssthats 10.00 ill never get back. i realy am starting to loose my sence of humer, not good, its all i have left. wene the laughter stops, i will cry untill i die. havnt cried in years. i have no moore tears left. all dried out. i wish i could cry i realy need it but thats the way it goes .moore later