Having a really hard time today.
I want to definitely journal this for today. So far it is one of the most trying days since I quit smoking. I am dying for a cigarette. I am watching my new neighbors (who I don't know) parents sit out on their patio and both of them are smoking! I am totally mezmorized by this. I can't stop the craving. Why don't I walk away and stop looking out the window one might ask? I'm stuck here stirring noodles for a spaghetti dinner tonight. I wish I could walk away. I even am remembering the way it felt to take that first drag right when you light up!!!!! Ok that's it for now, I just didn't want to forget this moment!
Ok, it's later and I've already done my jogging for the day, and also took a nice long walk with the dog. Sometimes I think I spend more time with the dog than with my own kids. Now that they're growing up they need me less and less. They're even cooking for themselves :( Hey, it'd be great if they didn't need me to do their laundry too......oh that would be sooooooo nice, but that will never happen.
So, I didn't smoke after all. Whew.....it was close, and still is. I keep questioning myself, and then I think, all I have to do is make it through today, and then figure it out tomorrow. Hopefully it's like the drinking, the urges will slowly go away. Well, my depression is at a low for now, and boy am I glad. This is one thing I wish I could control. Depression is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Those and anxiety attacks are like slow torcher that lurks around and then get's you out of nowhere. Horrible. But like I said, it is at a low right now and I'm pretty happy with that. Now, if everyone in the world would stop smoking so that I didn't have to look at it, that would really make me happy!!! Hey, I heard yesterday that the FDA is going to ban menthol cigarettes by 2014. The reason is because most teenagers start out smoking menthol. You know what, I believe it's true. I started smoking Newport and then changed to Benson and Hedges ultra light menthol. Isn't that weird. They may be on to something here!!!! Hope it happens, because it can only benefit me by having less smokers in the world.
Well, that's all for now!!
Ok, it's later and I've already done my jogging for the day, and also took a nice long walk with the dog. Sometimes I think I spend more time with the dog than with my own kids. Now that they're growing up they need me less and less. They're even cooking for themselves :( Hey, it'd be great if they didn't need me to do their laundry too......oh that would be sooooooo nice, but that will never happen.
So, I didn't smoke after all. Whew.....it was close, and still is. I keep questioning myself, and then I think, all I have to do is make it through today, and then figure it out tomorrow. Hopefully it's like the drinking, the urges will slowly go away. Well, my depression is at a low for now, and boy am I glad. This is one thing I wish I could control. Depression is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Those and anxiety attacks are like slow torcher that lurks around and then get's you out of nowhere. Horrible. But like I said, it is at a low right now and I'm pretty happy with that. Now, if everyone in the world would stop smoking so that I didn't have to look at it, that would really make me happy!!! Hey, I heard yesterday that the FDA is going to ban menthol cigarettes by 2014. The reason is because most teenagers start out smoking menthol. You know what, I believe it's true. I started smoking Newport and then changed to Benson and Hedges ultra light menthol. Isn't that weird. They may be on to something here!!!! Hope it happens, because it can only benefit me by having less smokers in the world.
Well, that's all for now!!
Replies
The main thing is you didnt have a cigarette, so you should give yourself a huuge pat on the back :-)
Yeah, I didn\'t have a cigarette yet.......oh and I pray I don\'t
Ok, I am going to be a bit harsh with you, but it is because I REALLY CARE!! And I want you to succeed sooo badly to show me it can be done. And well you have been doing that for me so far, but,,,,,saying the word \"yet\" is setting yourself up. You are doing a lot of actions that are seting you up for failure. Go back to the quit smoking group here and read the \"Old Posts\" go to whyquit.com to remember what you SHOULD be doing right now, and sorry, it is completely opposite of what you are doing. Remember with the alcohol? The main thing is to NOT entertain ANY thoughts!! Stop entertaining those evil thoughts in your mind about how awsome that first drag is, I fell for it, you know I did!! and guess what, that was like 3 weeks ago right? Well today, I can not breath. My nebulizer breathing treatments are barely working, I am misserable with all the crap cigs do to me, and in a short period that will get shorter and shorter. I am suffering from THAT drag, you are suffering because you want THAT drag. THAT drag is a HUGE lie!!!!! Oh man! I am soooo dam proud of you Honey!!!! Kick the ashes out of this and be like Charlie and you can say \"I am Winning\" LOL!!
Peace and Love,
Allison
I am so proud of you too, and i\'ve missed ya. yeah, saying the word \"yet\" does set you up for a slip. i dont want a cigarette..because....say or i want a cigarette but i am not going to. reasons why:) .k. Love ya, and listen to Grannie, she will keep us in line!! today i have two days, tomorrow=3 !!!!
lots of HUGS to you!!
Love,
GIzzzzzzzy
I gave up the bottle 4 years ago and it was a quite a battlle, but not near as hard as the smoking! It\'s been 5 mths since i even looked at a cigarette and i found the best way to control the cravings is to drink cold water and chew gum, not nicorette but just regular chewing gum (sugar-free) and that really does help. The cravings will go away but do you want the best reason to stay away from cigarettes? So you don\'t end up like me with cancer and yes...The cigarettes were responsible and well as my stupidity to ever start! You are too important to go back to smoking and you owe it to yourself and your family to just to look away!!! I really hope you have the willpower
to do so...(hugs) Keep up the good work...You can do it:)