having a hard time
I need to build myself up. I have a hard time transitioning from being alone to being with family and friends. Likewise it goes the opposite way from being with family and friends to being alone - I think there's probably
a sense of this for everyone to a degree? I was with my Dad and family yesterday and I had a really nice time and yet when I get back in the car and drove home that was a transition - and then coming back to the house here - that was a transition -
once alone - couldn't care so much about watching tv so went to bed at around 730p - - Just talking about here makes me feel stronger -
Am I confusing that sense of self on my own in a way that I kind of get lost in the aloneness? What reality am I not seeing or able to see?
When I am alone is it that I can't see anyone beyond 'me' and try to live in a way that deals with that sense of confusion - a sense of structure?
I need to find a project to care about to give my alone time some meaning or significance - I don't seem to care so much
when I am not engaged in action. My mind doubles down on itself when I am alone - and so maybe - even if I seem to be squeamish of it - maybe HAVING A PROJECT always is something that I really in fact want - because my mind seems to go there even when I don't physically manifest it. I seem to write a lot - so maybe it's time to find something else to create.
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Big hug for you sweetie.... Is there anything that relaxes you?.... I read a lot.... I find I can get lost in books.... My GP swears by mindfulness.... or colouring can help people to relax..... There are adult colouring books now or just something from a dollar store.... It uses both sides of your brain so it could help to reduce the stress.....xo
thanks Jan.
I am trying to read a book. I also did some coloring. I lit a candle and am online a little bit.
Maybe I will make plans to see a friend. Someone invited me for a hike on FB - so maybe I will follow through with that.
It's a luxury having no schedule on the weekend and these thoughts of dealing with my time alone is now starting to encourage me to see this
as opportunity. Rather than see this open time as something that has that has to be dutifully waited on, passing the time to be ready for the week ahead. Maybe now I can see it as opportunity to have
some really really great times and fruitful excursions.
I watch TV to reduce stress. Reading always helps too, like Jan said. I journal also and that helps me.
thanks becky!