hate this part of life

so everything blows up in my facei hate everything ugh.i feel like i have absolutley no onei feel like a zombie the last past two days i sleep way too much just to dreami hate  feeling this wayi miss mimi i dont know why shes pushing me away i hate it and i feel like crap when she does shes in a lot right now and i just want to be there for her but she is not letting meso that really sucks.my cousin came and got me  todaymy mom told her that shes scared that im going to kill myself so she swooped me up today and i just been hanging out. im physically here but my mind is not even near them. i cant stop thinking about if everythings ok. well it was way worse earlyer since i didnt have any computer accesss i didnt know wat was going on now i kinda know a lil bit of whats going on. but i feel so not needed. ugh but what eva. usually when i get sad i just drink a few beers to make me feel better. but honestly i dont want that shit i just want her. fml well im done so byeee