has your illness made you fearful?

Yesterday was a fruitful day. I was able to adjust to my drilling down - and I was focusing on what I needed to do.

My emotions just seemed like one more thing to take care of and that seems just natural now. 

I went to work today and was working as best I could, and I really faced something within me.

Fear. I was thinking about the fear of this volunteer thing I have been doing and it's like a fear of

responsibility in a way. I tried to face that feel as I worked today - and it was helpful and I did it.

There are times sure, when I go on autopilot and down always think about things. But I was reflecting today

at moments that I think my illness has made me feel fearful, and avoidant subsequently, of responsibilities.

Like too unstable to lead. But I refocused myself back on doing the work and yeah the crazy feelings happen sometimes

but I focused on the work and owning what I was doing.

Now I am back at home, and I set up my room to start the rest of my day- with things the way I like them. Scented candle, music

a freshly made bed and now here on DS.org. 

I think, I sure think of the judge of my actions outside of work but I think I have found that - Maybe our values change as life moves on? 

Anyways -I am mellow now. Peace and have a good St. Patty's Day tomorrow!