Hard day.

  Well, Richie is moving in today, so that means I finally get a day off. Frigging tired and sore. Really worked pretty hard there. I liked doing it tho. Richie is a good person, and I usually push myself a bit more for those kind of people. Today I was mostly just cleaning. The hard wood floors on the upstairs needed cleaning. Geez, that was a pain in the ass. I had to clean a lot of paint off it. The people that painted before got all kinds on the floor. Been there for years because it used to be a rental house. took me about three hors to do it. On my hands and knees, with a scraper. God I didn't like that. would have been easier to get a sander and just sand the floors and varnish them. oh well, not my place. I got payed well tho. Richie gave me 40 bucks extra. That was very nice of him. He really is a good person,. and not just because of the money. He treated me very well all the time. Never once did he give me a hard time about anything. The last couple of days I've been noticing I've been having some bad emotions. Not sure what there really about. Keep thinking about Robert the other painter they had there. He got payed a lot more than I did, at least hourly, and that kind of bothered me. They weren't happy with him, and they seen I was better, but it still bothered me that they payed him that much right off. Bob and Paul always have been pretty cheap about my pay, even tho I'm good at my work, but I also think back to many times where I was unreliable, drinking while working, bitching and complaining, so I do take that into consideration too. There were times where I sqrewed them up on jobs, so I suppose I need to earn my respect back. They do know I'm good when not drinking, but they also know I've struggled and fallen many times. Also even tho I didn't get payed big money, I still made a lot. I got at least a good $500 in things that they let me have. Clothes. shampoos and soaps, a scanner photo copier, a printer, a mesage machine, weights, and a few other things, so I came out pretty good. I didn't say anything about the pay, because I am happy for it. I did make a lot of money, and they fed me really good. Also Kimberly downstairs still ows me money. She said she would have it Friday, but she never came to me. Dan did some flooring there and he mentioned Friday that she had a bunch of twenties bragging. Got me a little mad. She's been partying at times with the other guys, and thay just bought a computer recently. I've been very patient and not bothring her about it, but after Dan said that I started thinking that I wanted to ask her for it. I'm really trying not to be mad about it, but it's starting to bother me. I knocked on the door tonight and she came out. Said she had to but some contact lenses, but that her boyfriend would pay me next Friday. I said alright. It's been over a month now that she's owed. I don't want to get mad at her, but I do feel that she's just trying to play around. It's definetly the last time i lend money, It only pisses me off. Their nice as hell when they need something, but to get it back is another story. They even get mad at me, like I'm a pain in the ass. Pretty fucked up. Same with Scot downstairs. I ended banging on his door and having him answer it with a baseball bat. I took it off him because he was just too drunk to even use it. All these people use here, and it's the same with all of them. They just never want to pay what they owe. anyway, I'll give it to Friday now, and then I'll see. I have enough money for awhile now, The weather was nuts today. Yesterday it got pretty cold, but today was worse. Even started hailing. I put my Long John's back on. Last week i was already complaning that it was too hot. At least I can sleep in tomorrow. We've been really going hard for that job at Richie's. I ran out of my Seraquil last week. They got the delivery all messed up. I stayed here a full day until after 6:30pm, but the guy never showed. after i finished work I seen a message from him saying that he had come, but I wasn't home. They came yesterday too, but I wasn't here. Really need to do some work with that delivery program they have. I phoned the pharmacy, and they said to have it redelivered I had to pay $4.50. I'm thinking they should pay me, for the two days I waited. I'm not bothered by it tho. A little weird because I've been alright without it. Usually with Seraquil it messes up your sleeping when you haven't got it, but I have been sleeping pretty good without it. Work has helped there because I've been tired when I got home, and I'm ready for bed by then. I'm thinking that i just might stay stopped with it. I've read up on the side effects, and those concern me a bit. You can end up a diabetic, and other things. Since I have been doing good without it, I might just stay stopped. It does help me sleep better, and keeps my thinking centered, but I do feel alright so far. With the feeling a little agitated the past couple of days, it could be the Seraquil, but it also could be that I haven't been going to meetings this past week. I did go to my step study at Cory's, but that bothered me a little. Him and the other people there seem to be younger, and more together amongst themselves. I feel a little like an outsider. Ever since meeting Cory, I had a sense that he's doing his own type of recovery, and wanting to do his own program to how he wants it. Seems like he's all about feeding his ego. I'm not sure If I'm going to go back again. Just don't like the feelings I get being around those people. They seem to think they are the one's with the only real program or recovery. I've heard them many times talking about how others don't do things right. In meeting they laugh at others when they say something that they think they know better. Kinda annoyes me a lot. I do feel good right now tho. I will get back to meetings now that I'm finished Ritchie's. Looking foreward to sleeping tomorrow. Thank you God, for everything your doing.