Happy Thanksgiving to me:(
This past week the day before Thanksgiving I found out that my husband has been having a affair for the past three months. Not just a one night thing a passionate relationship. I had my suspicions but no evidence until (bad me) had my 16 year old son crack my husbands e-mail account to find videos of them together. Having these images in my mind makes it to real. The pain of seeing it cuts into my heart. This was and is the most devastating thing I have ever gone threw. It is so funny how I always said that his butt would be out the door with no questions asked....Well now that this has happened my feelings have now changed. I want to attempt to make this work. I know I love him but can we make it threw this. Of course he has been a mess trying to deal with what he's done. He says it was a mistake he wishes he could erase and that he will do anything to make everything ok again.
Sometimes I think this situation is driving me mad. The girl was also 8 years younger than me and not bad looking. I can't say how damaging this has been to how I look at myself. I have never felt so ugly.
Thanks for listening:)
Sometimes I think this situation is driving me mad. The girl was also 8 years younger than me and not bad looking. I can't say how damaging this has been to how I look at myself. I have never felt so ugly.
Thanks for listening:)
Replies
This is all so fresh for you....you will go through many phases. I am 10 months into it...and having a bad day today myself. It will get better, it just takes lots of time and effort on both of your parts.
I also said that if he ever cheated he would be gone. I think lots of us have said that here. That is why DS is so good because we can relate. You are so right that we cannot relate until it is happening to us. I wish you the best of luck. We are always here to help. Lean on us.
Our OW was 14 years younger than me, so I know that feeling all too well. If it gives you any comfort....that is not what it was about. Try as much as you can to not focus on that. It will drive you out of your mind. Think about you and helping you.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I truly believe DS will help me because of people like you:) It is so unbelievable how a A can crash your self esteem. I truly am hoping counseling will help me work on me so I can deal with this pain.Thanks again.
I wanted to say hello and to send you support. I am 9 months post dday (discovery day - to explain the Daily Strength lingo). I am staying with my husband and we are working things out.
If I could offer you advice it is to educate yourself about an affair and also to educate your husband too. I suggest the book \"Not Just Friends\" by Shirley Glass. It was my \"bible\" in the beginning for understanding how an affair could happen and also to help me navigate all the crazy emotions that I was feeling. I also purchased \"Infidelity - A Survival Guide\" by Don-David Lusterman that I read and made my husband read. Education is important so you BOTH understand the range of emotions that you are going to experience.
On the day we decided to reconcile I knew it would be hard, but I never in my life understood just how hard it would be. Here I am 9 months later...healing but still having my struggles.
The other advice I would like to give is look after yourself. You have just experienced a major blow. Find some things to bring you peace. I got a massage about two weeks after dday. I just needed to take time to focus on myself. I splurged and bought a $25 candle too.
I am glad your husband wants to work on things. I hope you will do couples counseling. That was a big deal for us having someone help us both express our feelings.
You will survive. It takes time. Time is going to be your best friend...but it comes slowly.
Hang in there. We are here to support you and be a shoulder to cry on, rant to, ask questions or whatever you need.