Happy Easter

it’s Easter Sunday in the orthodox tradition. It’s been a good day so far. I find myself though feeling detached sometimes especially after a traumatic event. I had a rough conversation with my godson yesterday, anyway that’s the generalization of it. But it left me feeling disturbed and quite frankly I noticed I was obsessive and, I felt detached at times. This detachment I felt also when talking to my family on the Sunday zoom call. But I realized somehow it sewed together conceptually in these observations/thoughts as I was going into the meeting and during the meeting is that I can’t live in other peoples love. I think that’s about me getting validation and living in validation and avoiding pain. So I called my sister after we had a zoom call and I told her some important things that are going on here at the Monastery. Overall, it was a great call, and I feel pretty assured about myself about what I like and about avoiding the pitfalls of trying to live in other people’s love, society’s love, etc. when in fact, I’m starting to realize what it all means. I can be brave and responsible and I can live with intention. So I feel healthy, Normal… with no delusion of having my own world. I’m a trembling mess from anxiety but I know what it’s about.